Thursday, December 20, 2007

In The News: Santa Claus Having A Tough Time Being Understood This Christmas!

Japan's air force has never spotted a UFO, but the country's top government spokesman said Tuesday he "definitely" believes they exist in this exclusive photo presented this week. Chief Cabinet Secretary Nobutaka Machimura was speaking to reporters in response to demands lodged by an opposition lawmaker for an inquiry into "frequent reports of UFO sightings." The government said in an official reply that it had "not confirmed sightings of unidentified flying objects believed to be from outer space." Tokyo keeps a vigilant watch over Japanese airspace and is ready to scramble fighter jets to intercept suspicious airborne objects including a fat little elf being pulled by eight propulsion devices of unknown origin, the government reply said.

In a related story. not even Santa is safe in Rio de Janeiro. A helicopter carrying a Santa Claus to distribute gifts at a Christmas party came under fire when it flew over a Rio shantytown. The chopper was hit by two rifle shots Sunday, but no one was injured. Gang members apparently attacked the helicopter thinking it belonged to the police, Vianna said. It's not unusual for gangs to shoot at police helicopters in Rio de Janeiro, one of the most violent cities in the world, with a homicide rate of about 50 per 100,000 people. Santa Claus, who did not want to identify himself due to the fact that he was on a terrorism watch list, was later transported by car to the party - for children in another poor neighborhood - where he distributed about 700 gifts. You see, even Santa ain't afraid of the gangs.

Normally in Hollywood you'll see some drunk homeless guy doing this, but motorists who failed to stop for Santa Claus at a crosswalk near a Lake Elsinore middle school were ticketed during a crosswalk enforcement program. An undercover sergeant dressed as Santa acted as though he was going to cross to see whether drivers would stop for him, said sheriff's Sgt. Ron Heim. Fifty-two motorists were given tickets for failing to yield to a pedestrian in a crosswalk, he said. Seven vehicles were impounded and one motorist was served an arrest warrant. Some motorists told deputies that they never saw Santa, or they felt it was safer to keep going and possibly hitting innocent school children and wandering reindeer, instead of stopping suddenly and getting struck from behind, Heim said.

So if you didn't believe that there really is a Santa Claus, here's your proof! And in todays world, Santa often can't use his reindeer as his only mode of transportation. And due to the current WGA writers strike, Santa had to take on an extra job here in California as a traffic cop because his Elves were outside picketing having to write his Christmas list of good little boys and girls. But he will always prevail!