Tuesday, May 8, 2007

Discover Insanity Guest Blogger
Samantha Burns

Greetings Friends. I am traveling today on business and am on my way to Miami, Florida! So, to fill the gap in the blog, I decided to post another bloggers rants and raves. Check it out and enjoy...I'll be here tomorrow!

Blogging (is what this thing you're reading is called) has become a great way for people to report their own side of things. I don't read too many of them as I have a life but every now and then their is a blog that cathes my eye and tickles my fancy. And if there is one that hits the mark, it's a blog by Samantha Burns.

First a little bit about Ms. Burns from her website SamanthaBurns.com.

Q: Just who is Samantha Burns?
A: Which one do you mean? There are plenty of people named Samantha Burns.

Q: Who is Samantha Burns that runs www.samanthaburns.com?
A: A little about myself: After several years of living in one town and working and going to university, I recently moved to a new town with a new job caring for two kids. I have been the "nanny" for these kids (age 9 and 6) for a year now; and my boss MR. BIG, a long time friend, posts on this site occasionally as well. I have a major in English and Cultural Anthropology, as well as serious knowledge in educating youth. Before that, I worked in minimum wage hell, that is to say, the fast food industry, so I'm sure you'll be hearing a fair amount of ranting in that area. I am Canadian.

Q: What is this blog all about?
A: As the tag line says "Frequently updated witty rants, opinions, news, and humour from the mind of Samantha Burns". On this site, you'll find tough questions are asked. Basically, if you aren't offending by something said somewhere on this site then I'm not trying hard enough. Most high ticket topics, like the war, major local or world events are rarely talked about here since every other blog talks about them at length and they usually do a much better job on those topics. This blog sticks to mostly humours angles on stories, be it from news or personal life, with the occasional serious rant thrown in to keep everyone on guard, especially to raze the moonbats.

So today...I give you...a funny blog post by Samantha Burns...enjoy!

April 26, 2007

I Slept In On Earth Day With My TV Blaring, The Lights On, And A Wad Full Of TP In The Toilet

That's my way of saying "bite me" to all those eco-freaks out there.

Of course, this is primarily in response to Sheryl Crow's toilet paper limitation idea. If you hadn't already heard, singer Sheryl Crow apparently believes people can wipe their a$$e$ with only one frickin' square sheet of toilet paper.
I propose a limitation be put on how many squares of toilet paper can be used in any one sitting. Now, I don't want to rob any law-abiding American of his or her God-given rights, but I think we are an industrious enough people that we can make it work with only one square per restroom visit, except, of course, on those pesky occasions where 2 to 3 could be required.

Talk about a world full of stinky brown butts if a law like that passes.

Not to mention there'd be an over-consumption of water as washing machines will be working overtime to clean all that dirty underwear on a daily basis.

I don't quite understand the dimwitted ideologies of those fruitcakes. I mean, let's travel around in "three tractor trailers, four buses, and six cars" and tout the "boo-hoo's" of global warming.

Ya, global warming is real, you f*cknuts, it's called the natural cycle of this solar system. It's the natural warming of this globe due to a cyclical solar pattern, NOT due to human err.

But, those are big words for you eco-screwjobs out there, so I don't expect you to get it.