Sunday, January 27, 2008

Tech Watch: Mindless Crap For People Like Me!

It's time for Discover Insanity's Tech Watch. With all the proliferation of crap on the internet, we think that it's important to tell you about some of it. And with the politcal playing field like it is, the candidates are using "high tech" to the max. And who's bigger than Microsoft? Well, they just launched a new political search engine called Two hosts help guide you through the site, one on the Left, one on the Right - quite literally. Type in a search term and you'll get a witty remark from each host. (and I don't think WGA writer's are working on this!)Leave them alone and who knows what they'll say or do. It's fun to see what the two hosts will say, but the search results aren't exactly groundbreaking and I can think of better things to say about Hillary! Check it out at

Again, thanks to the net, there is a ton of political information out there. The problem is, it can be tough to navigate. That's where comes in. On this bizarre website, they've compiled information from various sources and made it easily searchable and cross-referenced. The result? You can see how much money your neighbors are contributing to a politician. You can see how much money a company is donating to a politician. The only data they are not tracking is how many pee's, poops and farts the candidates are lettng fly. There are even dozens of polls, updated daily. Check it out -

You know what? Someone out there loves you. and he's a 14-year old geek behind a computer writing viruses, worms and malicious code. And these hackers are trying to ruin this Hallmark holiday with evil emails that will infect your computer. The first one of these worms, Nuwar.OL, reaches computers by email with subjects like “I Love You Soo Much”, “Inside My Heart” or ” You… In My Dreams”. The text of the email includes a link to a website that downloads the malicious code. The page is very simple and looks like a romantic greeting card, with a large pink heart. Once it has infected a computer, the worm sends out a large amount of emails to the infected user’s contacts, in order to spread. This also creates a heavy load on networks and slows down the computer.

As a courtesy to our readers, whom we hope know this already, here are a very basic series of tips to avoid falling victim to one of these malicious codes:

  • Do not open any emails that come from unknown sources.

  • Do not click any links included in email messages, even though they may come from reliable sources. It is better to type them in the address bar.

  • Do not run attached files that come from unknown sources. Especially these days, stay on the alert for files that claim to be Valentine’s greeting cards, romantic videos, etc.

  • Have an effective security solution installed, capable of detecting both known and new malware strains. There are several free tools for scanning computers for malware.

It's a virtual world out there. You don't even need to leave your laptop to get a lapdance anymore. And now a company called EveryScape is taking maps a step further by letting your virtually tour major cities. So far they've re-created Boston, Miami, New York, Bejing and Aspen. Laguna Beach (The O.C.) is their newest. It's like taking a vacation without leaving your computer! The neat thing here is that you can also "step inside" certain stores or attractions. It's kind of boring to me and I can't wait until they take me on the next exciting virtual this one of the bowery. Now that's entertainment!

Holy crap, just how hip is LA? And this is insane. Starting on Monday, people who have medical conditions such as glaucoma, cancer, and the deadly not-stoned-enough virus can start getting their fat buds from special "AVMs." These electronic drug dealers won't be out on the street next to a Pepsi machine, of course. No, they'll be "housed in standalone rooms, abutting two dispensaries and protected by round-the-clock security guards." To use them, you'll need to go with a prescription in hand, get fingerprinted and get a prepaid credit card that's loaded up with your dosage and what strain of weed you want. Yeah, no joke, the pharmacists give you a choice between OG Kush and Granddaddy Purple. In the future, the machines may also be outfitted to sell other popular drugs such as Viagra, Vicodin and Propecia. Combine all four for a really interesting night that'll also slowly grow your hair back or hair on your palms!

Now here's a depressing tech item. Understandably, the near sighted, big breasted, and fat gutted amongst us can have some trouble seeing the readout on a conventional scale. Thankfully, the Eye Level Wireless Scale can help with a handheld or wall mountable remote infrared LCD that displays the weight calculated on the four sensor scale. Never think of those big gozangas as a curse again! Check out this embarassing product by clicking here!

Well folks, that's it for our segment of Tcch Watch. Hopefully you can have a little fun with some of the virtual internet doeses we've given you. So go to that vending machine, grab some weed, drink some beers and check out the the political scene...and you can be butt naked and do it all without leaving your couch. How's that for mindless entertainment?