Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Need A Laugh Today? We're Out Here Dangling Our Participle!

Humor or as the Frnech put it, Humour, is the ability or quality of people, objects, or situations to evoke feelings of amusement in other people. It's a form of entertainment which makes people laugh or feel happy. The ability to experience humour, a quality which all people share although some people really have got a stick up their butt, and the extent to which an individual will personally find something humorous depends on a host of variables, including location, culture, maturity, level of education, intelligence, and context. Satire may rely more on understanding the target of the humor, and thus tends to appeal to more mature audiences and is the point of Discover Insanity's look at the world. So today, we've got some questions for you to ponder and a law, well, you're just not going to believe! Read on...

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, “I think I’ll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?”

Who was the first person to say “See that chicken there….I’m gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it’s butt.”

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

If the professor on Gilligan’s Island can make a radio out of coconut, why can’t he fix a hole in a boat?

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don’t point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They’re both dogs!

What do you call male ballerinas?

Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream??

If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap,why didn’t he just buy dinner?

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Isn’t Disney World just a people trap operated by a mouse?

Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

Why do they call it an asteroid when it’s outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it’s in your ass?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog’s face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he can’t wait to stick his head out the window into the wind?

Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, “I think I’ll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?”

And finally, speaking of dangly things and to give you just one more chuckle, comes this new law from the Virginia legislature has some experience with offbeat bills. It's one thing to dangle fuzzy dice from a rear view mirror, but decorating a trailer hitch with a large pair of rubber testicles might be a bit much in Virginia.State Del. Lionel Spruill introduced a bill Tuesday to ban displaying replicas of human genitalia on vehicles, calling it a safety issue because it could distract other drivers...but I don't think it'll be male ones! Under his measure, displaying the ornamentation on a motor vehicle would be a misdemeanor punishable by a maximum fine of $250. Spruill said he won't hesitate to bring a set of $24.95 trailer testicles with him for a legislative show-and-tell. "I'm going to do it," he told a handful of reporters after Tuesday's House session adjourned. "I'm going to bring them out here and show them to you till they tell me to stop."

How that for a legislator with some "balls"? I haven't seen any of these things out here in California, but I'm sure they are soon to come. They say that laughter is the best medicine and I hope today's episode of Discover Insanity gave you a chuckle or two. If not, I'm sure it had to make you think just a bit, right?