Sunday, September 23, 2007

Verbal Bankruptcy: What The F@#! Are You Talkin' About Ass%$&!?

Click on the Swear Bear Box Image For Great Example Of Verbal Bankruptcy!

What a world we liver in, hunh? It seems that many of us (okay, I include myself in this class) can figure out how to describe something without using some sort of f**kin word that makes us look so intelligent. I'm sure you laughed there. It seems everybody does. Well, it's becoming more and more common to hear words like that in everyday language. These verbs are being used all over the world nowadays and it even appears in the news although they either beep it or @#$! it.

Recommended for mature collectors, The Swear Bear needs his mouth washed out with soap! He looks like the perfect cuddly toy to send home with your child or give to a loved one. Unfortunately, due to a small error in design, his sound chip says things like "Eat sh*t and die, mother f*cker!" and "Nobody loves you, everybody hates you, go f*ck yourself!" He isn't appropriate for children, but you know the value of a good swear word. He stands 6 1/2-inches tall and comes ready to give you a little attitude. And just click on the Birthday Bear on the right for some exciting Birthday Wishes! Now you can teach your kid these wonderful words early so that he can talk like Ozzy Osbourne by the time he's 3 years old!

And our verbally bankrupt pal Ozzy Osbourne will think twice about staying overnight in Prague, Czech Republic again. His last visit in June cost him and longstanding sidekick Zakk Wylde $45,000. The rockers decided to throw a TV out of the window of their sixth floor suite after Ozzy revealed it was the only "rock `n' roll thing" he had never done.

Wylde admits he knew the stunt would be expensive, but he was stunned when hotel bosses charged the pair $45,000 for the night. He told Modern Guitars Magazine, "The next day, Oz got charged $34,000 because they couldn't use the suite for 34 days because the window was broke, which was bulls**t. "I got clipped $10,000 for that f**kin' TV. This TV must've f**kin' cost them about $500... I go, `This TV had better give a f**kin' b**wjob and a h**djob and eat my ass. $10,000 for a f**kin' TV? This thing's a f**kin' piece of s**t. "(So it was) $10,000 for a TV, about $1,000 in beer, $34,000 for the room, and the look on Ozzy's face? Priceless. You can't make this s**t up." Wow. incredibly descriptive, dont 'ya think?

And in other verbal bankruptcy news, former GUNS 'N ROSES star SLASH has to undergo 'traffic school' in Los Angeles after getting carried away behind the wheel of his car while listening to the new MEGADETH album. The rocker was caught speeding by police as he blasted United Abominations from his car's sound system - forgetting he wasn't behind the wheel of a rocket. In a post on Megadeth's website, bassist James Lomenzo reveals, "I ran into an old friend of mine in the hotel lobby in Portland (Oregon) a week and a half ago, Slash. We chatted a bit and then he got serious (seemingly) and said, 'Thanks to Megadeth I've got to go to traffic school!' "I asked, 'Why?' and he explained, 'I love the new album. Every time I drive I've got it crankin' in my car... I've gotten two speeding tickets thanks to you guys and now I've got to go to f**kin' traffic school!'"

So, the next time you need a word that'll shock people yet have them tottally paying attention to what you have to say because of your amazing intelligence, just throw a F#@! or two in there. It'll make me proud. Now find somethin' better to do than read my f**kin blog!