Sunday, February 18, 2007

I Just Got A Parking Space At MySpace!

Check my space on MySpace. I hope you like it. I don't spend much time there. I have a life. Oh, by the way, I'm not sure but I think I'm one of the 2,687,345 people who may have fathered Anna Nicole Smith's baby. I'm not sure though cause I've never seen her, never really cared about her but heck, she's got money and I figure if I can stake a claim...well.

By the way, just because your tattoo has Chinese characters in it doesn't make you spiritual. It's right above the crack of your ass. And it translates to "beef with broccoli." The last time you did anything spiritual, you were praying to God you weren't pregnant. You're not spiritual. You're just high.

A couple of other things...

Stop giving me that pop-up ad for classmates.Com! There's a reason I don't talk to people for 25 years. Because I don't particularly like them! Besides, I already know what the captain of the football team is doing these days . . . Mowing my lawn.

Here's a fact about life: Saying that teenage boys who have sex with their hot, blonde teachers are permanently damaged. I have a better description for these kids: lucky bastards.

And for you ladies, leave your eyebrows alone. Here's how much men care about your eyebrows: do you have two of them? Okay, we're done.

And lastly...there's no such thing as flavored water. There's a whole aisle of this crap at the supermarket, water, but without that watery taste. Sorry, but flavored water is called a soft drink. You want flavored water? Pour some vodka over ice and let it melt. That's your flavored water.

Have you had enough of me. Then check out my new MySpace!

Okay, Later!