Discover Insanity

We've Crossed Another Sad Milestone...

2008-03-24T04:47:00.001-07:00

How many time have we heard this? A roadside bomb killed four U.S. soldiers in Baghdad on Sunday... How many times do we have to hear it? Well, it looks like it's going to be a while. A grim milestone came on the same day that rockets and mortars pounded the U.S.-protected Green Zone - pushing the overall American death toll in the five-year war to at least 4,000. Navy Lt. Patrick Evans, a military spokesman, expressed condolences to all the families who have lost a loved one in Iraq, saying each death is "equally tragic." "There have been some significant gains. However, this enemy is resilient and will not give up, nor will we," he said. "There's still a lot of work to be done." Last year, the U.S. military deaths spiked along with the Pentagon's "surge" — the arrival of more than 30,000 extra troops trying to regain control of Baghdad and surrounding areas. The mission was generally considered a success, but the cost was evident as more and more soldiers returned home in flag draped caskets. When will it end?

The death toll has seesawed since, with 2007 ending as the deadliest year for American troops at 901 deaths. That was 51 more deaths than 2004, the second deadliest year for U.S. soldiers. The milestones for each 1,000 deaths — while an arbitrary marker — serve to rivet attention on the war and have come during a range of pivotal moments. When the 1,000th American died in September 2004, the insurgency was gaining steam. The 2,000-death mark came in October 2005 as Iraq voted on a new constitution. The Pentagon announced its 3,000th loss on the last day of 2006 — a day after Saddam Hussein was hanged and closing a year marked by rampant sectarian violence. The deaths taken by U.S. soldiers in Iraq, however, are far less than in other modern American wars. This should make us feel better? In Vietnam, the U.S. lost on average about 4,850 soldiers a year from 1963-75. In the Korean war, from 1950-53, the U.S. lost about 12,300 soldiers a year.

Commanders often say there is no guarantee the trends will continue. They would like to see the Iraqis take more of a front-line role in the fighting, but their ability to operate without American support could still be years away. So folks, sit back and get ready for more. Until we change our "strategy", whatever that may me, we're going to be hearing, "A roadside bomb killed..." for a long time. To the people on the front line...Thank You. To the grieving families...I am truly sorry. To our President...this has got to end soon!

A Sucker Is Born Every Minute! No That Sucker Just Got $23.3 Million!

2008-03-19T04:36:00.000-07:00

Are you sick and tired of all these anti-cold, self-help, quick weight loss, with Hoodia and Ginseng crap that is marketed on late night cable and the internet? Drug marketing is completely out of control. Companies make claims they cannot back up, and consumers buy the products under the assumption the company is telling the truth. Without fail, evidence arises that the drug does not serve the purpose the company claims it does and even worse it can cause severe damage to anyone that takes it. The company responsible for the marketing and distribution of the drug is then given a slap on the wrist by the government, and they go on about their business. Well now, and finally, Airborne Health Inc. has reached a $23.3 million in a class action lawsuit against the company. The lawsuit claimed the company committed false advertising by suggesting that their product would eliminate the common cold. Guess What? I was right!

According to those heading up the class action lawsuit, there is no credible data to support the notion that Airborne prevents colds. You can find out more about the settlement by clicking here! Instead, they assert, the tablets are nothing more than deceptively marketed vitamins. Airborne was developed by a now very rich second grade teacher, Victoria Knight-McDowell, who grew tired of catching ailments from her students and decided to catch in on being an overworked second grade teacher. She had no solid medical experience whatsoever, and unfortunately neither did those conducting the product's clinical trials. Hmmmm.

Airborne has never provided an instant cure to any cold, but taking it always seemed to alleviate some people symptoms. However, in many clinical trials some people taking placebos also claim to feel better. Wellness could be nothing more than a mental state of being. Got that? Psychology? In most cases, taking a hit of Airborne, your mind assumed it was working and it diverted my attention from the symptoms. In other words, it didn't really cure anything, but instead it was the idea that it could cure people that made suckers think they were feeling better. Check out this little diddy from the Airborne website:

The discovery that Airborne did not provide the efficacy that its commercials implied points to much larger problem that is being faced by the American public is nothing new. There are people who believe anything they see on TV! Consumers need to stop watching those late night infomercials and conduct their own research before taking any drug. Drug companies are spending record amount on advertising in the hopes you will purchase their product. The unfortunate truth is that they are concerned only with profits, not your health. And for Victoria Knight-McDowell, $23.3 million is nothing compared to what she probably has made with this false, deceptive, crappy product!

In A New York Minute: Sex, Sex, More Sex And Utter Stupidity!

2008-03-18T04:31:00.000-07:00

Where else but in New York? The place where a Governor resigns due to a $3000 plus night with a ho! A place where the new Governor gets sworn in to standing ovations and then it's reported that he's had an extramarital affair. Where else but New York? Well now, from the bizarre lawsuit file comes this New York lawsuit recently files where a businessman claims that he was injured when a stripper giving him a lap dance swiveled and smacked him in the face with the heel of her shoe. Okay folks, do you really wanna go here or what?

It seems Stephen Chang, a securities trader, said in court papers filed Friday that he was at the Hot Lap Dance Club near Madison Square Garden and was getting a paid lap dance when the accident occurred early Nov. 2, 2007. According to the lawsuit, as the dancer swung around, the heel of her shoe hit him in the eye, causing him "serious injuries." A man who identified himself as the manager of the Hot Lap Dance Club said he was unaware of the accident or the state Supreme Court lawsuit. The club's lawyer, Stephen Ateshoglou, did not immediately return a call. On its Web site, the club describes itself as the "Playboy Mansion of Manhattan party lofts." The site says admission is $50 plus a one-time club membership fee of $10 for newcomers. Lap dances cost around $40, plus admission, according to the Web site. You see Governor Spitzer, you can get your rocks off for $40 and still have a job the next morning!

You know, there are some lawsuits that are so stupid and taxing to our justice system that they just shouldn't happen. This is one of them. Besides the fact that most people in their right mind wouldn't publicly admit to going to a strip club for a lap dance, but to sue, in court, for an injury during a lap dance, makes me ask that one Dr. Phil question, "What were you thinking?" Ahhh, I Love New York!

A Part Of American History Is Dying Away But Now We Can Save It!

2008-03-17T04:46:00.000-07:00

Imagine trying to learn to write a letter for the first time if you were from somewhere so remote that you didn't have any background with the tools...the first thing you'd need is a piece of paper and a pen. What about a pen? Uh, you have to take the cap off first. Ok, now write "Dear Blah Blah Bla" on the paper. Wait, you want to rotate the paper so that the short side is at the top and the long side comes towards you and then write a bunch more stuff...by hand! Ok, we've finished the letter! We're are done with the letter, but now we have to send it. We need to put the letter in an envelope - a piece of paper that is all folded up to hide and protect the letter. Now seal the envelope by licking the paper here and folding it over. Then we still need to address the mail so that the postman knows who should get the envelope. Now we need to look up the address in the address book. We put the street address on its own line, then the city and state and ZIP code. Then we need to put our return address in the upper left-hand corner of the envelope. Now we gotta find a stamp. Never mind why. You need to put it in the upper right hand corner. We're almost there. But how do you think the letter is going to get to our intended recipient? Did you think it was just going to magically leap from the desk and get there? We need to take it somewhere that the Post Office can find it...like a mailbox. You see, letter-writing is hard.

But now it's time to switch from e-mail to free mail. In an attempt to encourage letter-writing, the post office is offering to let people mail a card to a friend for free. Until March 31, people can get a free card, postage included, which they can use to send a message to a friend. Home Box Office is covering the cost. The cable network is promoting its miniseries on John Adams, much of which is based on the letters of the second American president and his wife, Abigail. The free cards are available at www.poweroftheletter.com by clicking on Free John Adams Greeting Card. Only one card is allowed to each letter sender.

Email is more time efficient than snail mail. Oh yeah, you can send overnight deliveries but what's the point when you can send an email and send the same information in just a matter of seconds? The only advantage I see in snail mail is if you are sending a package of some sort. Obviously, you can't send a box of cuban cigars through the Internet. There are more upsides to email though. Take greeting cards, for instance. Through email, you can send a Flash equipped greeting card in many cases for free! Oh, sure, you showed you cared by paying $3.75 for the Hallmark greeting, but if it truly is the thought that counts, you should be allowed to get away with being a cheapskate.

Sure, email is a great way to instantly send a message, but it is extremely impersonal. When you email someone, IF YOU TYPE IN ALL CAPS IT IS CONSIDERED YELLING. But those who are computer illiterate may offend someone if they don't understand the rules of the internet. It's nice to see the handwriting of people you may not have seen in a while. Just knowing that someone took the time to sit down and write to me makes me feel so loved. You can also include things in letters such as pictures, newspaper clippings, etc. I know that with the latest technology you are also able to send these things over the web, but the quality is not nearly as good as the real thing. Imagine how it would feel to never receive a traditional card on your birthday! This is what may happen if people stop using the postal system.

Today, it's easy to forget the value of a heartfelt, handwritten letter or card. But the written word holds a singular place in the American story. We can be inspired to revive this tradition, to return to the enduring power of the written word, and leave a legacy for future generations. In the past few years, the postal system has greatly suffered because of email. Everyone always complains about how the price of stamps keeps rising and rising, but that is due to lack of use. People are too lazy and quick to jump on the computer to send emails rather than go through the process of writing a letter and placing it in a mailbox. The Post Office and HBO are giving you the chance to do this for free at www.poweroftheletter.com. While email is a good way to keep in touch when you don't have a lot of time, try to use the traditional postal system every once in a while. Maybe you'll brighten up someone's day by giving them something other than a bill in their mailbox.

Discovering Insanity: I Can't Even Write Something This Bizarre!

2008-03-14T05:05:00.000-07:00

This is a story that is creating quite a buzz.What emergency responders found when they entered the bathroom has left many in the town incredulous. "It's kind of shocking in a little town like this when you hear something like this," Ness City resident Orrin Oppliger said. "I didn't even know that Corey had a girlfriend...I guess that is another reason it was surprising." The buzz all revolves around what happened in a Ness City mobile home. Deputies say it there that 35-year-old Pam Babcock spent two years in her boyfriend's bathroom. The woman sat on her boyfriend's toilet for two years - so long that her body was stuck to the seat by the time the boyfriend finally called police. Okay, now I like to go in and read a magazine or two, but I think this lady just may have overdid it a bit!

Police received a call from the woman's boyfriend Corey McFarren saying his girlfriend wouldn't come out of the bathroom. When deputies arrived to, what else, a trailer, the woman was sitting on the toilet. Her muscles were severely weakened. Her skin had formed a bond with the toilet seat. Ouch! "We had to break the toilet seat away from the stool, and take her in with the toilet seat stuck to her," Whipple said. That toilet seat was eventually surgically removed, and doctors at the Medical Center say prolonged sitting, with the skin having prolonged contact with a surface likely caused her to become bonded with the seat.

As for the woman, deputies say she is refusing to cooperate with doctors and law enforcement. Pam Babcock will undergo a mental evaluation in hopes of shedding light on why this happened. Now, in a typical fashion, the boyfriend, a total idiot I'm sure, told police she had a phobia about leaving the bathroom and may not have left the bathroom in two years, although he's unsure how long she was in there. He said during that time, he brought her food, water, and clean clothes. McFarren called police to report that "there was something wrong with his girlfriend. She is an adult; she made her own decision. It was my fault I should have gotten help for her sooner; I admit that. But after a while, you kind of get used to it." Used to it? Hello? Is anybody in there?

The amazing part to all this is that people who knew the woman, yes, knew the woman, had not seen her for at least six years. Say what you want about the definition of "trailer trash" but these are two people, in my opinion, with diminished mental capacity. Of course, that's just my opion, I could be wrong. you decide!

Spending $4300 A Night Will Leave A Bad Taste In Your Mouth!

2008-03-13T04:37:00.000-07:00

As long as there have been politicians and celebrities, there have been sex scandals. Anyone remember Thomas Jefferson? He had less interest in freeing the slaves than partying with them...and he wasn't the only one. And what about the women involved? Yesterday new details emerged about the call girl at the center of the prostitution scandal engulfing New York's governor, with a newspaper report identifying her as a 22-year-old aspiring musician from Manhattan. But good ol' Elliot, Client #9, is going to get a lot more, and I mean a lot more, than he bargained for by spending $4300 a night with this lady of the night!

The real name of the woman — identified as "Kristen" in court papers is Ashley Alexandra Dupre. Dupre's MySpace page provides a window into her life as she went from a broken home in New Jersey to a music career in the city. "What destroys me strengthens me" is the slogan next to a Dupre photograph. The photos show her at various places, including in a bikini on a boat in a tropical locale. The number of hits to the page soared by the tens of thousands after the story broke. Her Web site boasts a recording of a song, "What We Want." "I know what you want, you got what I want. I know what you need. Can you handle me?" she sings.

Dupre apparently appeared in federal court Monday as a witness in the case against four people accused of operating the Emperors Club VIP prostitution ring. Law enforcement officials identified the governor as a "Client 9" who had a Feb. 13 tryst with "Kristen" and paid her $4,300. Dupre told the newspaper she had slept very little since the allegations against Spitzer were revealed although the Mayflower hotel room in Washington that Spitzer got her in D.C. was extremely nice. "I have been alone. I have abused drugs. I have been broke and homeless. But, I survived, on my own. I am here, in NY because of my music," she wrote. If Spitzer was thinking, and was really looking for a babe with those qualifications, he could have just jumped in his car, cruised the boulevard like Hugh Grant and picked up something for around $20.00!

This story is going to be the butt (pun intended) of many jokes for weeks to come. The fallout because of the loss of his political career and his family is going to be tremendous. Let's just hope that it make those people for which we've given the trust to run our cities, towns, states and country's think twice before they go out and blow (again, pun intended) $4300 on a one-night stand!

There's Some Potato Mashing Going On In Idaho!

2008-03-12T04:39:00.000-07:00

Idaho. I thought it was just another state full of potatoheads. Well maybe, just maybe, I'm wrong about that. Seems like the state that made the potato famous is a lot more liberal than most of us may have thought. You would think that a state that is mostly made of Mormons wouldn't be making headline news. But it does! I mean, look at the whole Senator Lrry Craig thing. I guess that began the ball rolling and put the spotlight on this unique little place. Well in today issue of Discover Insanity, we get to see how progressive (and regressive at times) the State of Idaho has become...read on...

A surprise birthday party for Dawn Wells, the actress who played Mary Ann on "Gilligan's Island," ended with a nearly three-hour tour of the Teton County sheriff's office and jail when the 69-year-old was caught with marijuana in her vehicle while driving home. Yes, our perky little Maryann is now serving six months' unsupervised probation for the crime. Cops pulled Wells over after noticing her swerve across the fog lines and center lines of State Highway 33 and repeatedly speed up and slow down. "I exited my patrol vehicle and immediately was able to smell a strong odor of burning marijuana," Officer Gutierrez wrote in his report. "As I approached the vehicle I noticed all four window (sic) of the vehicle were lowered and the female driver was not wearing a jacket." In an excuse we'd never expect to hear from our Little Buddy's little girl, Wells reportedly told police that she'd just given a ride to three hitchhikers and had dropped them off when they began smoking something. When Gutierrez searched the car, he found three half-smoked joints in the ashtray and console, according to the report. A second search after Wells' arrest netted a fourth half-smoked joint and two small cases used to store marijuana! After Wells failed a field sobriety test, she was handcuffed and taken to the sheriff's office. Perhaps they should have called her Mary Jane!

Larry Craig may not be happy about this one. After an open meeting, the Nampa Public Library board ruled in favor of removing two books containing sexual content. The Joy of Sex and Joy of Gay Sex are no longer on the shelves at the library. But the books are not banned completely. The books will still be available upon request in the library director's office. Officials say censorship is not their goal. The majority of those in favor of keeping the books argued that pulling them from the shelves was censorship. Those in favor of removing the books argued that they are too graphic for children and have no place in a family library. Assistant director Camille Wood says the Joy of Sex book series has been in circulation for 15 years and is owned by more than 500 libraries including those in Boise and Eagle while the Joy of Gay Sex was added to Nampa's collection in 2005 and was checked out seven times in the last year! Ahh the Nampa Public Library...a place of education and enlightenment!

So you see, there's more to Idaho than potatos...or is it potatoes. Seems we got a lot of sex, a little bit of weed and some gay sex going on there. Looks like they are being influenced by their neighboring states of Washington and Oregon. You can blame any of this on California. They call it the gems state...seems they've got a few gems of their own, if ya know what I mean!

Behind The Green Door - Another Sequel: A Sad Commentary On Politics In America

2008-03-11T05:00:00.000-07:00

He had built his political legacy on stamping out corruption. He had served two terms as attorney general where he pursued criminal and civil cases and cracked down on misconduct and conflicts of interests on Wall Street and in corporate America. He had previously been a prosecutor in the Manhattan District Attorney's Office, handling organized crime and white-collar crime cases. His cases as state attorney general included a few criminal prosecutions of prostitution rings and into tourism involving prostitutes. Now, the man known as the Sheriff of Wall Street is in deep dog doo! And how many times have we seen this? Too many to count. Truly, it's a sad statement for our political and justice system. What the hell was this guy thinking?

The fact that his political career is ending is no big deal. We've seen this before. The most embarassing part of all, during a news conference Monday afternoon, Spitzer apologized to his family and the public, but did not go as far as to explain why. "I have acted in a way that violates my obligations to my family and violates my, or any, sense of right and wrong," he said in a brief statement. "I have disappointed and failed to live up to the standard I expected of myself. I must now dedicate some time to regain the trust of my family," he said alongside his wife, Silda Wall Spitzer, who was visibly upset as he spoke. Visibly? She barely looked up? Again, what the hell was he thinking? The couple has three daughters together! I can't imagine what their school life will be like in the coming future.

How in the heck could anyone spend $5,500 an hour for a hooker and not think anyone is going to notice? And we know now that "Client 9" had used the service before. I still can't figure out why he did this? I guess when you think with the wrong head, you're bound to get into trouble! This should give the media something to knaw on for weeks!

Look Out America: The Prez Is Goin' Hip Hop!

2008-03-09T05:35:00.001-07:00

If there's one thing about President George Bush that I like, it's got to be the fact that at least he can laugh at himself while we're laughing at him. And the comedy just seems to go on. The standup comic President Bush said an early farewell to political Washington on Saturday night, making his first appearance on the stage of the Gridiron Club of Washington journalists. Bush surprised the white-tie audience of more than 600, including Supreme Court justices, Cabinet members and lawmakers, by appearing as the final act of the club's annual revue. To the tune of "Green Green Grass of Home," he sang about looking forward to his return to Texas. "As I step down from the plane and there to meet me is my mama and my papa, down the lane I look and here comes Barney, heart of gold and breath like honey," the president warbled. I can hear the dogs howling now!

The audience was surprised by Bush's appearance and rose to applaud his attempt at singing. "Yes, you're gonna miss me, the way you used to quiz me...It's good to touch the brown brown grass of home." This was the first time he sang, donning a cowboy hat and joining the chorus to say farewell but recently he's been making some attempts at securing a career in dance on some MTV or VH1 show recently. He's appeared performing dances with African performers at the White House in April 2007, and danced a few steps this month while waiting for John McCain at the White House.

You gotta give this guy some credit. He thinks he can dance. Heck, he even thinks he can be President. I'm looking forward to seeing what his Hollywood aspirations will be after the White House. Maybe Dancing With The Stars? Hmmmm.

Tick Tock! Tick Tock! Tick Tock!Wake Up! It's Daylight Saving Time Again!

2008-03-08T06:02:00.000-08:00

Russia has 11. China only has 1, though it should have 5. India also only has 1 and that's due to outsourcing by the nice people at Dell and Microsoft. The United States has 9. We're not talking about people with common sense. On March 31, 1918, President Woodrow Wilson signed a law enacting a change. Robert Garland of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania was the leader in the introduction and passing of the bill. Like any new idea, the idea did not immediately catch on, but in 1884, when the Prime Meridian was set, the time zone concept was introduced and accepted. But not until the Standard Time Act of 1918 thanks to our pal Woody, were the time zones enacted into law. This Sunday we "spring forward" and enter Daylight Savings Time once again. So folks, don't be late for church! Set your clocks ahead tonight!

Speaking of time zones, they have not been around forever. Time zones are the product of train schedules. Until the advent of the railroads that transported people rather quickly, all time was calculated by solar time. When the sun was directly overhead, wherever you were located, that was noon. You can imagine how confusing a train schedule could become for anyone traveling from New York City to Chicago, let's say. The rather ingenious idea for time zones was developed by a Canadian railroad engineer named Sir Sandford Fleming. He divided the world into 15 degree pieces, reasoning that the Earth rotates once every 24 hours and there are 360 degrees of longitude. So, 1/24 equals 15 degrees. Although the DST act was part of a federal law, it is not mandatory for anyone to observe the time change. However, if a state or community decides to incorporate the change, that entity must abide by the federal schedule. Enought of the technical crap, hunh? If anyoneone can figure out this bizarre clock you're a friggin' genius!

In 2005, a new law, part of the 2005 energy bill, set new times for the beginning and ending of DST for the same basic reason Ben Franklin thought of the idea in the first place. By adding an hour of sunlight, we might be able to cut down on energy consumption. There are still a few places that do not observe DST: Arizona, Hawaii, American Samoa, Guam, The Virgin Islands and Puerto Rico. Here's the most confusing place to tell time.- It's Indiana. The Hoosier State has one geographic problem and, for years, many stubborn citizens. Let me explain. First, Indiana is divided by two time zones, Eastern and Central. And until recently, some of the counties observed DST while others did not. It would have been possible, if you were in the right place, to literally look across the street and have a two hour time difference.

Now here's some more mindless Indiana trivia. For years, and it may still be this way, Indiana was the only state to collect the state gas tax separately when you filled your car with gas. No wonder Hoosiers can be a little confused. Must be all of that grain alcohol or something. Just remember to set your clock ahead tonight. Of you may be in for a shock on Monday morning! By the way, Discover Insanity may be "out of commission" for a couple of days. We're moving to new digs in the alley. But we'll be back. You can take that to the bank!

The Perfect Golf Shot...Almost!

2008-03-07T05:32:00.000-08:00

Imagine this. Your out playing a nice round of golf. A bird lands in a nearby tree and begins to screech, breaking your concentration. You keep your eye on the ball. Take aim. And WHACK! Woops, bye-bye birdie! Well, that kind of happened for a film crew for "Shoot Like A Pro" at the Grand Cypress Golf course in Orlando.

PGA Tour golfer Tripp Isenhour was charged with killing a hawk on purpose with a golf shot because it was making noise as he videotaped a TV show. The 39-year-old golfer, whose real name is John Henry Isenhour III, was charged Monday with cruelty to animals and killing a migratory bird. According to court documents, Isenhour got upset when a red-shouldered hawk began making noise, forcing another take. He began hitting balls at the bird, then 300 yards away, but gave up. Isenhour started again when the hawk moved within about 75 yards, Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission officer Brian Baine indicated in a report. Isenhour allegedly said "I'll get him now," and aimed for the hawk.

"About the sixth ball came very near the bird's head, and (Isenhour) was very excited that it was so close," Baine wrote. A few shots later, witnesses said he hit the hawk. The bird, protected as a migratory species, fell to the ground bleeding from both nostrils. "He just kept saying how he didn't think he could have hit it, which I think is a stupid thing for a PGA Tour golfer to say," said Jethro Senger, a sound engineer at the shoot. "He can put a ball in a hole from hundreds of yards away, and here he is hitting line drives at something that's, I don't know, a couple hundred feet away?" Senger said the killing was not captured on video. The bird was buried at the golf course and later dug up by Florida investigators.

The bizarre part about this story. No one in the roughly 15-person crew intervened, and many later regretted it. The key word here is later. Yeah, way to go guys. You got your ass caugh on video, killing a protect bird species, and because your pro golfer didn't make the perfect golf shot, you decided to get some "balls" and speak up. Way to go. We're proud of you. Now good ol' John Henry is on his way to the ASPCA slammer. Great shot though. Have a nice trip, Tripp! That shot will cost ya!

A Song In The Wrong Key Of Life Is Banned In New York City!

2008-03-06T05:23:00.000-08:00

Ahh the Irish. I've always heard the term "the luck of the Irish." What the hell is so lucky about these people. I mean, come on, their music is so depressing and whiny (pick a U2 song!) and what about that song "Danny Boy"? It's depressing. It's not usually sung in Ireland for St. Patrick's Day. And its lyrics were written by an Englishman who never set foot on Irish soil. Those are only some of the reasons why a Manhattan pub owner is banning the song "Danny Boy" for the entire month of March. "It's overplayed, it's been ranked among the 25 most depressing songs of all time and it's more appropriate for a funeral than for a St. Patrick's Day celebration," said Shaun Clancy, who owns Foley's Pub and Restaurant, across the street from the Empire State Building.

The 38-year-old Clancy, who started bartending when he was 12 at his father's pub in County Cavan, Ireland, promised a free Guinness to patrons who sing any other traditional Irish song at the pub's pre-St. Patrick's Day karaoke party on Tuesday. The lyrics for "Danny Boy," published in 1913, were written by English lawyer Frederick Edward Weatherly, who never even visited Ireland, according to Malachy McCourt, author of the book "Danny Boy: The Legend of the Beloved Irish Ballad." He said Weatherly's sister-in-law had sent him the music to an old Irish song called "The Derry Air," and the new version became a hit when opera singer Ernestine Schumann-Heink recorded it in 1915. Some say the song is symbolic of the great Irish diaspora, with generations of Irish fleeing the famine and poor economic conditions starting around 1850. Others speculate it's sung by a mother grieving for her son or by a desolate lover. Lyrics include: "The summer's gone, and all the flowers are dying/ 'Tis you, 'tis you must go and I must bide." Zzzzzz.

The song "Danny Boy" is definitely one of the most depressing on the list and was recorded by Bing Crosby in the 1940s and even served as the theme song of television's "Danny Thomas Show" from 1953 to 1964. It has been performed by singers ranging from Judy Garland and Elvis Presley to Johnny Cash and Willie Nelson. Some people are looking forward to forward to crooning other Irish favorites, such as "Molly Malone" - whose own theme is hardly a barrel of laughs. A sort of unofficial anthem of Dublin also known as "Cockles and Mussels," the song tells the tale of a beautiful fishmonger who plies her trade on city streets and dies young of a fever. Nice.

At least one patron at Foley's was glad to hear the song was banned from the pub for the rest of the monthsaying, "The song is "all right, but I get fed up with hearing it - it's like the elections!" I think the Irish need to stick to the one thing (see picture) that they are really good at...

Could It Be A Dream Ticket? Ebony & Ivory...Live Together In Perfect Harmony...

2008-03-05T07:43:00.000-08:00

This is a sad but kind of true fact: Race will always be an issue in this country. People lie when they say that isn't so. Just three generations ago have women had the right to vote. African Americans have only had an enforceable right to vote for only one generation. And, now here we are with a black and a women poised to be the Democratic party candidate for President. And now, with the conventions looming,Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton hinted at the possibility of a Democratic "dream ticket" with Sen. Barack Obama. It just brings that ol' familiar tune into my head...

Surprisingly, on "The Early Show" on CBS, Clinton said "that may be where this is headed, but of course we have to decide who is on the top of the ticket." Clinton said the race between her and Obama remains "incredibly close," with just "smidgens of difference" between them in both the popular vote and number of delegates. Clinton's remarks came after her campaign won two big states yesterday: Ohio and Texas. Obama congratulated Clinton on her victories while maintaining he would be able to wrap up the Democratic nomination.

I've heard the race thing a lot lately. And it sucks. Hopefully, the only ones still chattering about race are the media representatives. I don't care if someone makes a decision using whatever methods they choose. Maybe this election will be decided by smart people. I hope everyone weighs the cards carefully and selects the best person for the job. I just hope that this issue, one that truly has no effect on how our country is to be run, will not guarantee John McCain as the next president.

Workplace Ethics: Getting Out Of Work The Hard Way!

2008-03-02T05:02:00.000-08:00

What happened to faking a cough? How about telling your boss that your best friends uncle died in a tragic golf accident this morning? And what about projectile vomiting. That's a winner! In Pasco, Washington, Sheriff Deputies responded to a drive-by shooting. At first, the man claimed he was jogging when he was shot by someone in a black car. But, deputies soon found out that wasn't the truth, the whole truth and not even a remote part of the truth. It seems that today's winner in the game of life asked his friend to shoot him so he could get some time off work and avoid an upcoming drug test. How's that for creative?

Daniel Kuch, of Pasco, told police that his friend, Kurtis Johnson, shoot him to create the injury so that he would be able to be out of work long enough to get any drugs out of his system and get some "special attention" from the hottie a Billy's Beer Bong! His friend was arrested for investigation of reckless endangerment and Kuch was booked into the county jail and is expected to be charged with false reporting. Detectives declined to say where Kuch works, or whether he still has a job. It wasn't known if he had obtained a lawyer.

In all honesty, I don't think this is not a good way to get out of work. There are a lot easier ways to do it that getting shot. But hey, when you're making $7.50 an hour flipping burgers and you find out that you're being put on the french fry fryer tomorrow, maybe it's not such a bad idea. Of course, that's just my opinion, I could be wrong!

We're Back And The Insanity Goes On and On And On!

2008-02-29T05:43:00.001-08:00

Good Day and welcome to leap year edition Discover Insanity. We've been away for a couple of days on business in San Diego and were unable to get the blog done while down there. Besides, it seems the news hasn't been all that great lately. I got a laugh yesterday when at a press conference our wonderful President Bush hadn't heard that gas prices may go up to $4.00 by summer! Does that really surprise anyone? But this fact will - Four states - Vermont, Michigan, Oregon and Connecticut - now spend more on corrections than they do on higher education! Yikes. For the first time in U.S. history, more than one of every 100 adults is in jail or prison, according to a new report documenting America's rank as the world's No. 1 incarcerator. It urges states to curtail corrections spending by placing fewer low-risk offenders behind bars. How's that for a solution?

Using state-by-state data, the report says 2,319,258 Americans were in jail or prison at the start of 2008 - one out of every 99.1 adults. Whether per capita or in raw numbers, it's more than any other nation. The report, released Thursday by the Pew Center said the 50 states spent more than $49 billion on corrections last year, up from less than $11 billion 20 years earlier. The rate of increase for prison costs was six times greater than for higher education spending!

And here's the fact that'll really get you. Getting tough on criminals has gotten tough on taxpayers...you and me! According to the report, the average annual cost per prisoner was $23,876, with Rhode Island spending the most ($44,860) and Louisiana the least ($13,009). It said California - which faces a $16 billion budget shortfall - spent $8.8 billion on corrections last year! Yes folks, billions. more people are behind bars mainly because of tough "three-strikes" laws. While one in 30 men between the ages of 20 and 34 is behind bars, for black males in that age group the figure is one in nine. The racial disparity for women also is stark. One of every 355 white women aged 35 to 39 is behind bars, compared with one of every 100 black women in that age group.

I guess we should be proud that the United States incarcerates more people than any other nation. Proudly, we are also is among the world leaders in capital punishment. These sad facts reflect a very distorted set of national priorities...maybe, just maybe, if we invested in our children and education, kids who now grow up to be criminals could become productive workers and taxpayers. Yeah, right. Like that's going to happen. I'd have a better chance of winning a wet t-shirt contest at Hooter's! And then they'd have to incarcerate me!

Hot Babe Casting Call: Baseball Team Seeking Plus-Size Male Cheerleaders

2008-02-24T05:12:00.001-08:00

I've said this before at Discover Insanity. It seems most of the freaks of our country live in either California, Colorado or Florida. And our good friends in Florida win today's poll. Yes, the Florida Marlins are looking for some footloose fat men. The National League team is creating an all-male, plus-size cheerleading squad to be dubbed the Manatees. Tryouts are scheduled for Sunday. The team hopes to recruit seven to 10 tubby men to dance, cheer and jiggle during Friday and Saturday home games this season. Real manatees, 1,200-pound mammals sometimes referred to as "sea cows," are not considered the most agile of creatures and often get caught in boat propellers. Now if being compared or looked at as a "sea cow" floats your fancy, then get your ass down to those tryouts!

The Marlins already have a cheerleading squad, the considerably more svelte Mermaids.The Marlins want their Manatees to have the same dimensions, but to be decidedly more agile. Men will be judged on how well they dance a choreographed routine. Men selected for the Manatees won't be paid - unlike the women. How's that fore reverse discrimination! Instead, they'll get tickets to games they perform at, and the honor of dancing in front of crowds that have been smallest in major league baseball for the last two seasons. What, no free beer? You've got to include free beer if you're going to get me to dance half-naked in front of a crowd! Come on.

Yes folks, this is 100% real. Check out their website! According to the site, the Florida Marlins are looking for big bellies with the biggest jiggle, big feet with the best dance moves and enthusiasm that will rock Marlins fans out of their seats. Auditions will be held to find a few big men for the Marlins Manatees, the first-ever dance/energy squad in Major League Baseball at Dolphin Stadium on February 24, 2008 at 1 p.m. for the 2008 season. The Marlins Manatees will perform at Friday and Saturday Marlins' home games throughout the 2008 season. Manatee hopefuls do not need prior dance experience-just the willingness to learn routines and have a great time dancing and cheering in front of thousands of fans. Or maybe 5-10 of them.

The Marlins aren't the only pro sports team capitalizing on Americans' expanding waistlines. The Chicago Bulls basketball team have the Matadors, a big-man dance troupe that's entertained fans at home games since 2003. And although cheerleaders might be an unfamiliar site in baseball, big men aren't, as fans have long cheered on the likes of Babe Ruth and Kirby Puckett.

Being a sports fan is one thing. But being a male cheerleader in baseball? I guess some teams will do anything for a bit of funny and free publicity. And they don't say who there coach is yet. But there is only one person in the whole wide world that looks good in pink shorts, can dance like no other guy can, is as flaming as they come, and would bring in the crowds. Yes folks, Richard Simmons! Now if the Marlins hire good ol' Richard, then maybe, just maybe, I'll try out. That's it for today. Gotta go. It's time for Sweatin' To The Oldies! You go girl!

The Joy Of Being A Lazy Californian! Now There's A Company That Solves Another Boring Chore!

2008-02-23T06:43:00.000-08:00

Hi kids and welcome to Discover Insanity! It's with great pleasure that we present you with this blog where we scour the Internet for the things that just make you sit back and go, "Whoa…" Or, "NO way!!, "Holy Crap," Or, sometimes, "Ewwww!" Let's face it people, other than getting news updates, looking at porn, paying your bills, sharing photos, searching for more porn, downloading music, connecting with old friends, downloading porn, finding love, taking classes, booking airline tickets or spending coutless hours reading boring blogs (like this sometimes) and watching YouTube videos….this is exactly what the Internet is for. I don't often promote a company but I like this company's basic mission..."We can't do anything about the traffic or your bedhead, but at least your trashcans will be taken care of."

You hate to do it and it is an inconvenient. You don't have the time. You always forget and then have to do it late at night. Your driveway is as long as a runway. You would rather your kids study, than lug trashcans to the curb. You want your neigbors to think it's someone else who's throwing out all those dirty magazine and VHS box covers. Well, your wait is over. CurbSide Trash Luggers brings your trashcans to the curb for pickup and then they return them to your yard after they have been emptied. They take the worry out of your weekly trash chores by providing you with the best trashcan valet service. Yes folks, your read that right...a valet service. And they like to do it!

CurbSide Trash Luggers was established to provide a professional trashcan valet service that eliminates the hassle of weekly trash chores. Their goal is to improve our customer's quality of life by saving you valuable time and energy. They take pride in relieving the inconvenience of their customer's weekly trashcan duties. As CEO/Founder Ric Christopher says, "When we were kids, we would take out the trash for our families. As the years passed, I found out that I continued to be the one lugging the cans to the curb. When does it end? Some time ago my wife and I moved into an apartment building with 4 units. We realized quickly that no one was compelled to take out the trashcans on trash day. Having done it my whole life, I figured I would do the task for the good of the building. Over a year passed and I was still the only one dragging the cans to the curb and back. One day I said enough is enough…I decided to stop. (We did have other tenants that were very capable of helping) I just left the cans at the curb…It wasn't too bad the first week, but as the weeks passed by, I realized that those cans would stay at the curb forever or until I moved them back. To my surprise one evening at 11:30 pm I heard the rumble of the cans rolling back to their resting place in our yard. I was so happy I jumped up to thank the thoughtful neighbor who finally broke down and helped. As I walked out my back door I saw the figure coming out of the dark…It was my wife.

Now here's some guys who took one of the most boring jobs in the world and made a service to solve a problem. Now that's innovative. And heck, for $16 per month, it might be worth it. Their service area is limited...for now...but I'm sure these guys will franchise soon and maybe even become a part of America's service industry which includes pool guys, lawn guys, cleaning ladies, outcall massage "therapists", dog walkers, window washers, car detailer and all the other ones out there. Welcome to America...we're fat and lazy and can't do even the somplist chores ourselves because we're too friggin' busy. My hat is off to these guys! When are you going to service my neighborhood in Thousand Oaks???

Sony Lost The Battle With Betamax But They Kicked Ass With Blu-Ray And They Don't Have To Thank The Porn Industry For It!

2008-02-22T05:45:00.000-08:00

Out of the way, Betamax. You're history, Laserdisc. Hey Iomega, Zip it! And now folks, HD DVD has joined the sad-sack society of failed video formats. The high-definition DVD war ended this week and saw Blu-ray emerge victorious from the field of battle. Toshiba was the sole manufacturer of the incompatible HD DVD machines and, this week, the company gave up and surrendered. Now that the dust has settled a bit, I'm still tackling questions from people who might be wondering what all the fuss is about. Well, just as Beta and VHS went head-to-head in the '80s, HD DVD and Blu-ray spent the last two years battling to see which would be the eventual successor to DVD, bringing crystal clear, high-definition picture and sound to our living rooms the bottom line in today battle for superior technology is this - in the end, there can be only one.

There was never a doubt that one format would triumph, the only questions were which one and how soon. The big backers for each side (Toshiba and Microsoft for HD DVD; Sony, Panasonic, Samsung and others for Blu-ray) gambled they'd be victorious, but Blu-ray chopped off HD DVD's head. HD DVD was a longshot from the get-go due to the limitations of the format. Even though Blu-ray had majority support among the major studios from day one, when Warner Bros. defected from the already shaky HD DVD camp last month and sided with Blu-ray, it set off a chain reaction that culminated this week with Toshiba throwing in the towel. Paramount and Universal, the last two movie studios releasing flicks solely on HD DVD, have announced they're switching to Blu-ray. But if you're still watching Murder She Wrote on a 1979 RCA, that's not going to cut it. You need a -- wait for it! -- Blu-ray disc player. At the moment the cheapest options go for about $400 at the big-box electronics stores, or you could get the $400 model of the PlayStation 3, which plays Blu-ray movies and gives you a sweet gaming machine in the bargain.

High definition is here to stay. It’s like when black-and-white went to colour and when VHS went to DVD. It is inevitable. We’ve been saying for the past seven years, if you want the DVD solution, Blu-ray completes high definition. Industry insiders expect that Blu-ray will go mainstream by Christmas and Blu-ray had been outselling HD DVD by a two-to-one margin throughout 2007. Both DVD formats use blue-violet lasers. But the formats are incompatible. Blu-ray backers argue their format is superior because it holds more information and provides sharper images and better sound and has he ability to go forward. HD DVD backers argued that their format was cheaper to manufacture and more stable although their was no room for expansion.

Now just because Sony's Blu-ray high definition format has prevailed over HD-DVD doesn't mean it's going to win the hearts and minds of hundreds of millions of home video viewers. The next battle that will be waged is between discs and digital downloads for movies. While Blu-ray and HD-DVD went toe-to-toe for more than a year, the likes of iTunes, Netflix and Microsoft have been working on getting movies to TVs by download services. The battle for superiority is still on. And in an interesting fact about this format war over the Betamax-VHS battle is this...it wasn't influenced by the porn industry! And besides, why would you want your new hot little lady to find your disk of "Abonement" when you can just download "Edward Penishands" and hide it somewhere on the computer!

Navy Scores Pinpoint Hit On Wayward Satellite. That Satellite's Name Is John McCain!

2008-02-21T05:26:00.000-08:00

Have you ever compared two news stories and see how ironically different but ironically thie same the story is? Well, check this out and see what I mean. Last night, a U.S. Navy cruiser blasted a disabled spy satellite with a pinpoint missile strike that achieved the main mission of exploding a tank of toxic fuel 130 miles above the Pacific Ocean. The New York Times suggested an inappropriate relationship between the Arizona senator John McCain and Vicki Iseman, a Washington lobbyist.

Destroying the satellite’s onboard tank of about 1,000 pounds of hydrazine fuel was the primary goal, and a U.S. official told NBC News that it "looks like the tank was hit." The New York Times quoted anonymous aides saying they had confronted McCain and Iseman, urging them to stay away from each other.

"It is still going to take some more analysis" to determine what happened to the fuel, but early indications were positive, the official said. In a statement issued by his presidential campaign, McCain spokeswoman Jill Hazelbaker said: "It is a shame that The New York Times has lowered its standards to engage in a hit-and-run smear campaign.

Defense Secretary Robert Gates ordered the shootdown, which came late Wednesday as he began an eight-day, around-the-world trip on which he likely will face questions about the mission. "John McCain has a 24-year record of serving our country with honor and integrity. He has never violated the public trust, never done favors for special interests or lobbyists, and he will not allow a smear campaign to distract from the issues at stake in this election" Hazelbaker said.

While Pentagon officials stressed that the satellite strike was a one-time incident, it certainly will spin off massive amounts of data and research that can be studied by the military as it works to improve its missile defense technologies. McCain defending his integrity last December, after he was questioned about reports that the Times was investigating allegations of legislative favoritism by the Arizona Republican and that his aides had been trying to dissuade the newspaper from publishing a story.

The shootdown, which was approved by President Bush, is seen by some as blurring the lines between defending against a hostile long-range missile and targeting satellites in orbit. The published reports said McCain and Iseman each denied having a romantic relationship, and the paper offered no evidence that they had, saying only that aides worried about the appearance of McCain having close ties to a lobbyist with business before the Senate Commerce Committee on which McCain served.

The goal in this first-of-its-kind mission for the Navy was not just to hit the satellite but to obliterate the fuel tank. Although the odds of that were small even if the Pentagon had chosen not to try to shoot down the satellite, it was determined that it was worth trying to eliminate even that small chance. "Americans are sick and tired of this kind of gutter politics, and there is nothing in this story to suggest that John McCain has ever violated the principles that have guided his career."

Officials said it might take a day or longer to know for sure if the toxic fuel was blown up. As for the campaign of John McCain, it'll probably take some time to see if this missile from the Times will cause it to blow up.

Ironic hunh? well, that's the news. Funny how it looks the same depending on which glasses you're wearing and how many cups of Starbuck's coffee you've had! Of course, that's just my opinion, I could be wrong!

Law & Disorder: Ripping Off Girl Scouts...Now That Takes A Lot Of Balls!

2008-02-20T04:55:00.000-08:00

Here's today's lesson in how insane some people in our world really are. So we've all learned that we don't go around the neighborhood selling cookies without an adult, right girls? In fact, let's all just set up a table outside the local grocery store and sell cookies with Mom right there. That'll be perfectly safe, right? Actually, it turns out it isn't, really. In Westminster, Colorado, a pair of con artists ripped off a Girl Scout group when they exchanged a fake $100 bill for cookies, police said. Yes folks, we're talking Girl Scouts. Brownies. Those young, innocent, girls who force us to consume calories we really don't need. But who can resist a kid, right?

The unknown couple handed over the bill Friday night at a supermarket, telling the girls it had been washed when asked about why it looked so strange. "It felt and looked wrong and it was a quarter of an inch shorted than a $1 bill," said Jil Hennessey-Seabolt, (no relation to the Jill Hennessey of Crossing Jordan fame who would have kicked some ass if that happened to her kid!)the cookie director for Junior Girl Scouts Troop 2121. Hennessey-Seabolt said the Girl Scouts gave the couple $93.50 in change after the purchase. The young couple left with two boxes of Samoas and $93.50 in real change, police said. "Unfortunately, it is one of those things that we as leaders are actually trained not to accept the larger bills, and unfortunately, the troop did, and it backfired," said Kresta Vuolo, a Girl Scout troop parent. So Ms. Hennessey-Seabolt, I guess you just weren't paying attention when we talked about that, now were you?

The exchange eradicated the Scouts' earnings that day. The money they raise in the sales goes to camping trips and to area charities. "I just can't believe that somebody would stoop that low," said Lyman Cox, a Westminster resident. The Girl Scouts' council will reimburse Troop 2121 for the funny money. Other people have also called police offering to donate $100 to the troop. Investigators were reviewing security tape from the store to try and identify the suspects. There was also a report of someone offering a $100 bill to Girl Scouts in Lakewood over the weekend. That bill was declined...by a gGirl Scout leader who realized that to give a hundred dollar bill for a single box of Thin Mints was just stupid. That lady paid must have paid attention in class. Good job!

And rippping off Girl Scouts has happened before. Last year, nine-year-old Gracie Smith was doing just that -- selling cookies outside a Winn-Dixie supermarket in Southeastern Florida -- when a teenage girl came up and began talking to her. Moments later, the teen reached over and grabbed an envelope with more than $150 of cookie money. She then ran off, jumped into a car with another teen, and took off. Now here's the pisser. The two miscreants apparently did it for the money. "We went through all that effort to get it, we got all these charges and we had to give the money back. I'm kind of pissed," said one. The other one said she wasn't sorry, just angry that they got caught. Luckily, however, they did get caught and will hopefully face some stiff punishment. You think?

The two a--hole criminals even went so far as to fakely mark the bill with a pen to make it look like it had been checked for its validity. That's smart.The story does have a happy ending, though. A resident donated $100 to the Girl Scouts. Crap like this ain't fair when it happens to adults, but when it happens to kids who work so hard, it's pisses me off. What the hell is happening in our world. Ripping off Girl Scouts? Come on. I think it's time we train the Girl Scouts how to subdue and apprehend a criminal. Kind of like in my top of story picture there. That'll make you think twice. Hi! My names Cindy. I'm raising money for my Girl Scout troop so we can go to wilderness camp. You'd like a box of Tagalongs? Okay. $100 bill? Gee, it looks photocopied. I never realized that Bill Clinton was on the hundred dollar bill. On your knees dirtbag...you're busted!

Breaking News: Fidel Castro Resigns! Does This Mean We'll Get A Reasonable Priced Cuban Cigar?

2008-02-19T04:54:00.000-08:00

Cigar Aficionado's are celebrating today! Ailing leader Fidel Castro resigned as Cuba's president early Tuesday after nearly a half-century in power, saying in a letter published in Cigar Aficionado (only kidding...actually online official media) that he would not accept a new term when the newly elected parliament meets on Sunday. After a half-century in power, Castro said, "I will not aspire nor accept - I repeat I will not aspire or accept - the post of President of the Council of State and Commander in Chief," read the letter signed by Castro and published quietly overnight without advance warning in the online edition of the Communist Party daily Granma. The 81-year-old Castro's overnight announcement effectively ends his rule of almost 50 years over Cuba, positioning his 76-year-old brother Raul for permanent succession to the presidency. Does this mean the end of the emarrgo?

Over the decades, the fiery guerrilla leader reshaped Cuba into a communist state 90 miles from U.S. shores and survived assassination attempts, a CIA-backed invasion and a missile crisis that brought the world to the brink of nuclear war. Since his rise to power on New Year's Day 1959, Castro resisted attempts by 10 U.S. administrations to topple him, including the disastrous Bay of Pigs invasion in 1961. The United States' discovery of nuclear-armed missiles on the island led to a showdown of the world's then-superpowers before the Soviet Union agreed to remove them.

Castro was the world's longest ruling head of state. His supporters admired his ability to provide a high level of health care and education for citizens while remaining fully independent of the United States. But his detractors called him a dictator whose totalitarian government systematically denied individual freedoms and civil liberties such as speech, movement and assembly. But after more than a year after falling ill, the elder Castro still had not been seen in public, appearing only sporadically in official photographs and videotapes and publishing dense essays about mostly international themes as his younger brother began to consolidate his rule.

What's this mean for us greedy Americans and our quest for the ultimate cigar? Marvin R. Shanken, editor and publisher of Cigar Aficionado, interviewed Cuban President Fidel Castro in Havana on Feb. 3, 1994 at the Palace of the Revolution.The interview focused on cigars, but touched on the United States trade embargo and President Castro's future. Here are some highlights of that interview - You don't have to read it but I thought it was quite interesting:

Shanken: If you and President Clinton ever get together, would you smoke a cigar with him, symbolic of peace at last between our two countries?

Castro: Now that would be an interesting thing. As I told you, when I was in the Sierra Maestras [mountains of Eastern Cuba] during the Revolution, and I had good moments, I would smoke my last cigars. Perhaps something like that would bring back my old habit from the days of the Sierra Maestras, but I would have to ask for permission from the World Health Organization. I wouldn't want to lose my medal.

Shanken: I know the issues are great and complex, but do you see the day soon when America and Cuba will work together as neighbors and friends as they did many years ago?

Castro: I hope that day will come sometime, but no one will be able to say when that will happen. It is not an easy thing to happen. As for our side, we do not have any particular objections, nor do we lack the will.

Shanken: Have there been any private negotiations to try to come to a mutual understanding that will result in the elimination of the trade embargo?

Castro: No. No, not at this time.

Shanken: The American trade embargo against Vietnam is ending. Russian and U.S. relations have been turned around. Even Israel and Palestine are trying to get together. Why is it, in your opinion, that Cuba continues to be embargoed? It is a question that we all ask. What do you think?

Castro: It is difficult to answer. It doesn't stand up to logic. Perhaps it is because we are too close geographically to the United States. Perhaps [because] we have resisted the blockade for over 30 years. Perhaps it is a matter of national pride for the U.S. government that has turned us into an exception and has given us the honor to be its only long-standing adversary. I think it is not logical. I don't know what history will say though.

Shanken: There would be many benefits to both sides, if you were willing to take the first step.

Castro: How can we take the first step? We are the ones whom the blockade is imposed against. If we had a mutual blockade, then we could take the first step. But how can we? The first step should be taken by the U.S.

Shanken: From what I read, the American government is looking for Cuba to undergo political reform and improvement in its human rights.

Castro: That is the pretext that they use, and for many years they have used many different pretexts. At one time when we were in Africa, they used to say if the Cubans withdrew from Africa, then the relations would improve. That pretext was left behind. Later they said that when the links with the Soviet Union were cut off, then our relations would begin with the United States. Now the Soviet Union is not supporting us anymore, and nothing has changed. They keep on moving the goalposts back. Before it was Latin American subversion, the situation in Central America...and when they talk about reforms in Cuba, it is a precondition that we cannot accept because it has to do with independence and the sovereignty of our nation. It would be like if we were to give a precondition to the United States that it must change something in the Constitution in order for us to open up relations again. That's absurd.

As far as human rights, and I will try to keep my answer brief, no one in the world has done more than Cuba has done for human beings, for its citizens--no one else, in every sense. The best evidence of that is that our health programs have saved the lives of over 300,000 children, and we have been helping out in other places around the world with our doctors, medicines and knowledge, more than any other country in the world. So, I think that no other country has as unblemished behavior about human rights considering how much we have done for man. That is a legend. It is a fabrication. It is an unjustifiable pretext.

It's going to be interesting to see what position the American government has on this announcement. Will they lift the embargo and let us have the good smokes? Will they keep it in place so all people but dignitaries and media get to come back from Cuba with a box or two? It's time for a change...that's what Barack Obama is saying. Maybe we can vote him into office and get this waste of governmental administration lifted. I'm sure the good folks at Cohiba have got a special celebratory cigar planned. Hey Mr. President. The time has come. Fidel's gone! I'm tired of paying $35 for a cuban cigar!

You Just Can't Stop A Speeding Locomotive!

2008-02-18T05:40:00.000-08:00

The Oprah-Obama '08 bumper sticker was meant to be only a lark. Oprah Winfrey, the nation's wealthiest African American and host of an afternoon television program, endorsed Sen. Barack Obama last May. How powerful can an association with Winfrey be? What Winfrey may do for Mr. Obama, like she does with books in her Oprah's Book Club is the stuff of marketing legend. Between 1996 to 2002, titles recommended by "Oprah's Book Club" typically resulted in sales of more than a million copies, a staggering number considering that a typical novel might be judged a success with 20,000 sales. And she's done it again...online.

More than 1 million copies of financial adviser Suze Orman's "Women & Money" were downloaded since the announcement last week on Winfrey's television show that the e-book edition would be available for free on her website for a period of 33 hours. The download offer "has built excitement for Suze's book across all formats," Julie Grau, the book's publisher, said in a statement. The publishing community has endlessly debated the effects of making text available online, with some saying that free downloading is a valuable promotional tool and others worrying that sales for paper editions would be harmed.

The offer for "Women & Money," originally released a year ago by Spiegel & Grau, a division of Random House, Inc., has not kept people from buying the traditional version. As of Saturday, the book ranked No. 6 on Amazon.com. The paper edition of "The 9-11 Commission Report," published in 2004 by W.W. Norton and Co., was a best seller for months. Just having the Oprah name tied to anything is probably worth more than any other check that she could write. Between 1996 to 2002, titles recommended by "Oprah's Book Club" typically resulted in sales of more than a million copies, a staggering number considering that a typical novel might be judged a success with 20,000 sales.

Among the weapons in Winfrey's arsenal: the television program that reaches 8.4 million viewers each weekday afternoon, according to the most recent Nielsen numbers. Her Web site reaches 2.3 unique viewers each month, "O, the Oprah Magazine," has a circulation of 2 million, she circulates a weekly newsletter to 420,000 fans and 360,000 people have subscribed to her Web site for daily "Oprah Alerts" by e-mail. Yikes. Tell me she doesn't have the golden touch!

You can't laugh off the fact that she can sway many, many people. And we're talking about people who hang on her every word. Her purpose in getting people to buy the book, and getting them to read it, was the intention behind this offer. If it works with books, it could work with the Presidency. The Big "O" can deliver a constituency to the marketplace, no question. What's that say about us? Looks like she could be the "second First Lady" in the White House. Maybe she'd have a room called the Harpo room! Hmmmm.

Our Government At Work: Hey Lady, You're Dead! Deal With It!

2008-02-17T05:26:00.000-08:00

Imagine getting this letter after your bank closed your credit card account and attached a note of sympathy: “Please accept our condolences on the death of Laura Todd. We understand it's a difficult time for you.” Well, guess what? Laura's not dead! She says that an 8-year-old typo is affecting everything from her credit to her tax return. "I don't think people realize how difficult it is to be dead when you're not,” she said. She said being dead off and on has made everyday life a hassle.

She said her problems started when someone in Florida died and her Social Security number was accidentally typed in. Todd said she thought the problem had been straightened out, but when she went to refinance her house in 2002, “SunTrust called and said, ‘Your credit report says you're dead.’" She straightened that incident out, but in 2006 the Internal Revenue Service refused to process her return. Don't we all wish that could happen to us?

"The IRS says I’m dead. Everybody says I'm dead,” she said. She said the last straw came recently when the IRS once again refused to let her file her taxes electronically because she's dead. She said that at one point it was funny, but now it’s getting old. “I'm tired. I've been fighting this for eight years, and it never ends,” she said. “I'm very much alive, and would like to live out my life in peace without having this problem." Todd said she'll try to file her tax return again and again and again and see if the problem has really been fixed.

The IRS said it would research the problem (and how many times have we heard the IRS say they'd fix something?) and try to get it straightened out. Social Security said it has updated its computers and that the fix should also fix the problems with her credit reports but their MIS department is a little busy trying to shoot a defunct satellite out of space at this time. Ah, our wonderful government body and the work they do. The real question in this story is this: If she actually dies, could she be declared dead? Hmmmm.

You Won't Want To Shove Our Head In The Toilet Anymore. You'll Need Us Someday!

2008-02-16T05:36:00.000-08:00

I guess you could say that I'm a computer geek. And geek, by the way, is no longer an insult--it's an honorific. Some of us are Mac (like me) and some are PC! (Yuck!) If there's one common characteristic of an ideal techie, it's darkness. We are not depressed. Multiple monitors bombard users with a lot of light - adding overhead fluorescents or superbright halogens would be a recipe for migraines and madness. Most of us have a desk that looks like the site of a bombing and nontechies should keep one thing in mind: Do not touch anything. "Good enough" really isn't for most geeks. Possessing the latest gizmo from Tokyo is a badge of honor. IPut a "regular" person in front of a computer, and he'll just sit there. A geek will dig in, figuring out what's inside and how he can tweak it. Not because it's his job, but for fun. In an article in Inc. magazine, Adam Bluestein dove into our "obsession" and came up with some interesting tidbits...read on...and remember not all of us have tattoo's like these!

Geeks often have a powerful intellectual vanity. That makes it hard for them to admit mistakes. Hence, the plethora of expressions that blame the victim (see glossary, below). Geeks like money as much as everyone else, but nerds like recognition for what they've done and want to talk about it. You may not understand 80 percent of it but it's more about the relationship and building trust. And geeks like to play. Google's developers are allowed to spend 20 percent of their work time working on projects of their choosing--with the caveat that anything they produce belongs to the company. The tinkering is rewarding for the techies, and even if most of the work comes to nothing, the 10 percent that yields valuable new products makes it worthwhile.

If you interrupt a geek friend who's deep in the zone because you need help with your e-mail, you deserve his wrath. But don't wait to befriend one of us. Sudden sucking up followed shortly by a request to help move your iTunes library to a new machine is transparent and will backfire. And yes, us techies have our own colorful jargon, often indecipherable to outsiders. We even have our two hero's who have created the war for the superior computing platform. Here, courtesy of Adam's Inc. article, are some terms to listen for--and you might want to hope they're not directed your way.

Geek: Someone with an intense curiosity about a specific subject. Not limited to tech--there are also gaming geeks, music geeks, etc.

Caching error: An all-purpose explanation for a tech-support problem with no obvious cause

Completion date: To a geek, the date something is ready to test--not, as you might have thought, it isn't done.

Empire builder: An insecure dweeb who tries to make himself indispensable by keeping code, passwords, or other knowledge of a system to himself.

Hardware problem: A problem most geeks want nothing to do with

HKI error: Human-keyboard-interface error (i.e., it's your fault, stupid)

ID10T (pronounced Eye-dee-ten-tee): The user is an idiot. Used by geeks when passing along said idiot to some other sucker to deal with: "I've got an I-D-ten-T coming your way."

I/O error: Ignorant-operator error. Derived from the term "input/output error"

Known issue: As in, "That's a known issue." In other words, you're the 4,000th person who's called me about this problem in the past week--and no, I haven't fixed it.

Nerd: Some technologists self-identify as nerds; others find the term insulting. When in doubt, use geek instead.

PEBCAK: Problem exists between chair and keyboard (i.e., again, it's your fault, stupid)

PICNIC: Problem in chair, not in computer

RTFM: Read the f---ing manual!

The bottom line on geeks is this. In this age of digital technology, e-mail and iPods, you better know one. In fact, you better love one. Because the day will come that you're doing a Google search for your local Hooter's restaurant, actually type in the word "Hotter" and up pops 10,000 windows of gazangas posed in positions you never thought imaginable and the flood won't stop. That's when you'll need us. Now a days, being a geek isn't all that bad. And besides, we can all kick you ass on any Wii game!

Discover Insanity Celebrate Being A Year Old! Well, Kinda, Sort Of.

2008-02-15T00:39:00.000-08:00

Some milestones you just have to celebrate. And today, we celebrate our on year - actually our one year and 15 day - actually out 366th blog entry! there you go. Somethin' like that. Yes folks, Discover Insanity has been around for a year and we're here to celebrate with you. Now isn't that grand?

It all started on February February 28th, 2007 when I watched the ABC News special title Bob Woodruff: To Iraq and Back. It made me see a side of this war that I never really saw before. Every day we hear things like "10 Soliders Killed in Helicopter Crash" or "3 Dead in Troop Carrier Blast." Yes, this is a sad reality of the war, but these boys come home, we honor them, we bury them and yes, we forget about them. That first blog entry was in honor of my Dad. He served in WWII and although he never encountered battle on the front line, he had a special heart and empathy for the people who served in all branches of our military. And it still continues...almost daily.

What's a blog writer's life like? Well, busy. I get up at 3:30 in the mornings (way too damn early for most people) and begin looking at my sources. And there are a bunch of them who need to be thanked. Like KCBS-TV, Dave's Daily, Kevin Kelley's Cool Tools, the great people at Gizmodo, The Associated Media Compnay, the heros of the LAPD, Digg, Associated Content, KABC-TV, John Stossel at ABC, Reuters News Service, The Associated Press, The LA Time and The LA Time Opinion People, The Crazy Rants of Samantha Burns, Google (without them, there would be no internet), Michael Josephson and His Institute of Ethics, Marcia Leslie, Mike Murray, Joe Perez, Ken Latka, Barry Bindell and my most faithful reader and good friend Mike Santino. His daily Guido comments leave me laughing because he's got a warped sense of humor as bad as mine. So to all my sources (sorry if I missed any of you),...and all my faithful readers, Thank You!

We've done some great stories. From Paris Hilton to Online Affair's services, we cover the gamut when it comes to news. We've covered every one of the dumb celebrity stories and the Athlete Arrest of the Day! We've had happy stories, and sad stories. We've honored and bureid friends...like Hal Fishburn and others. We pay honor to our military men fighting for a purpose that they just don't understand and pay our disgust to stuff that should just NEVER happen. Heck, we've even been threatened with a lawsuit when we covered a story about California's Youngest Lawyer to pass the bar exam. They weren't happy to how I reference her age with a magazine. I wonder why. So, we removed it. How's that for not having any balls to stand on? And the stories keep coming, and we'll keep reporting them. It's that simple!

So there it is folks. Number 366. What a milestone, hunh? It's a lot of fun to put my bizarre and abstract thoughts, comments and opinions out there for all to read. And your response keeps it going. And the people of our world keep doing crap that you need to know about. Discover Insanity...our name says it all. You read us, you'll definitely discover the insane side of this little blue planet we call home. Of course, that's just my opinion...I could be wrong! Thanks Dennis Miller for making me go there!

Death By Digital: It's The End Of The Amazing Polaroid As We Know It!

2008-02-14T06:18:00.000-08:00

Another sad day had come. And thank god this story has nothing to do with any celebrity! In 1947, an inventor named Edwin Land introduced a remarkable innovation to the world -- a film that developed itself in a matter of minutes. This new instant camera technology was a huge success for Land's company, the Polaroid Corporation. In 1949, Polaroid made more than $5 million in camera sales alone! Over the proceeding 50 years, the company carved out its own special niche, selling millions of instant cameras and more than a billion rolls of instant film. The brand synonymous with instant film is killing off the Polaroid film format and attempting to reinvent the brand so it "lives on for the next 30 to 40 years." In the short term that means closing factories in Massachusetts, Mexico and the Netherlands, cutting 450 jobs, and breaking the hearts of hipster-photographers the world over. It's still sad to see a format with so much history and fond memories die.

Now, some camera buffs who still use Polaroids for fun are trying to buy as much as they can. Joe Howansky, a 23-year-old professional photo technician from Queens who has shown Polaroid shots at art galleries in New York City, said he bought $800 worth of Polaroid film at a discount warehouse club after he learned Friday that Polaroid planned to stop producing its film. "It has an intangible quality that fits with walking down the street, and I see something cool, and snap a photo of it," he said. At a photography store in Boston, business from both instant film and regular film has shrunk with the advent of digital photography. It's going to be hard to imagine the photo business without Polaroid being a part of it.

So how does it work? Well, the instant-camera developing process combines colors in the same basic way as slide film, but the developing chemicals are already present in the film itself. The instant camera film has three layers that are sensitive to different colors of light. Underneath each color layer, there is a developer layer containing dye couplers. All of these layers sit on top of a black base layer, and underneath the image layer, the timing layer and the acid layer. This arrangement is a chemical chain reaction waiting to be set in motion. The component that gets the reaction going is the reagent (as in re-agent). The reagent is a mix of opacifiers (light-blockers), alkali (acid neutralizers), white pigment and other elements. It sits just above the light-sensitive layers and just below the image layer. Before you take the picture, the reagent material is all collected in a blob at the border of the plastic film sheet, away from the light-sensitive material. This keeps the film from developing before it has been exposed. After you snap the picture, the film sheet passes out of the camera, through a pair of rollers. (In another configuration, often used by professional photographers, the reagent and developer are coated on a separate sheet which is pressed up against the film sheet for a set amount of time.)

The rollers spread the reagent material out into the middle of the film sheet, just like a rolling pin spreading out dough. When the reagent is spread in between the image layer and the light-sensitive layers, it reacts with the other chemical layers in the film. The opacifier material stops light from filtering onto the layers below, so the film isn't fully exposed before it is developed. The reagent chemicals move downward through the layers, changing the exposed particles in each layer into metallic silver. The chemicals then dissolve the developer dye so it begins to diffuse up toward the image layer. The metallic silver areas at each layer -- the grains that were exposed to light -- grab the dyes so they stop moving up.

Only the dyes from the unexposed layers will move up to the image layer. For example, if the green layer is exposed, no magenta dye will make it to the image layer, but cyan and yellow will. These colors combine to create a translucent green film on the image surface. Light reflecting off the white pigment in the reagent shines through these color layers, the same way light from a bulb shines through a slide. At the same time that these reagent chemicals are working down through the light-sensitive layers, other reagent chemicals are working through the film layers above. The acid layer in the film reacts with the alkali and opacifiers in the reagent, making the opacifiers become clear. This is what finally makes the image visible. The timing layer slows the reagent down on its path to the acid layer, giving the film time to develop before it is exposed to light. Doesn't that all sound so simple?

One of the coolest things about the Polaroid was watching the image slowly come together, caused by this chemical reaction. The image is already was always fully developed underneath, but the illusion that it is forming right before your eyes was incredible. I remember my Uncle Howard and his Poloraid and saying "WOW" everytime a picture came to life. Sadly though, the Concord, Massachusetts based Polaroid announced last week that it plans to close factories in Massachusetts as well as Mexico and the Netherlands that make the incredible fun product. The digital age is definitely here now...sadly though, something had to die because of it! So for all those Polaroid users out there, were sorry, looks like you'll only have another year left to take random pictures at house parties.

Hilton Family Honors: Sex, Booze And Insanity. It's All In The Family!

2008-02-13T05:31:00.000-08:00

You know, some crap just runs in the family. And it's been said that the rotten apple doesn't fall far from the skank! Just when you worry that the Hilton Family fun has ended because Paris is trying to clean up her act, her 18-year-old brother, Barron Hilton, was arrested Tuesday on suspicion of drunken driving after a witness reported seeing a black Mercedes-Benz weaving on the Pacific Coast Highway, at times drifting into the oncoming lane. Deputies arrested Hilton after he pulled over and got out of the car and blew a blood-alcohol level of 0.14 percent. The legal limit in California is 0.08 percent. Oh yeah, baby!

Hilton was carrying a fake driver's license and was also arrested for investigation of carrying a falsified state document. He had a female passenger in the vehicle who had apparently been driving earlier and might have been involved in an accident, the Sheriff's Department said. She was not identified but we're wondering if it was 16-year-old Skye Peters, the daughter of producer Jon Peters,whom Little Barron spent some time in a Bel Air hotel and got down to some shady business recently which may have even led to a possible call to the police. Christine Peters says that Barron and Skye (those are some "Passions" names if I've ever heard them) are good friends and police weren't called. Hmmm. Barron's been officially booked and was held on $5000 bail which he managed to pull out of his spare change pocket!

Ah those Hilton kids. Don't ya just love 'em. First it's Paris - now Barron. Dad must be so proud of his two wonderful well-mannered, well-groomed children. How in the hell can and eighteen and a sixteen year old check into a hotel room? I mean there some hotels, definitely not Hilton's, you could check into if you were, like, 12 and if you wanted to entertain a hooker and score some primo crack rock. But the Bel Air is a posh hotel. Couldn't he just VIP into one of his family's own? These rich kids are the new wave of brats that are probably gonna hit the Hollywood scene so fasten your seat belts people cause more screwed up kids are on their way. And just a little tip to Barron... Being holed up in a hotel room with a 16 years old is slightly illegal and may just possibly be what led to Jamie Lynne Spears' pregnancy. Hey dude, you got money. Make sure you get a raincoat!

Move Over Miss America! Get Out Of The Way Hustler! PETA's In The Game With Their Sexiest Vegetarian Next Door Contest!

2008-02-12T05:12:00.000-08:00

What the hell is a group that is, according to their website, "the largest animal rights organization in the world" doing in the beauty contest industry? Well, the hottest vegetarians in the land are going head-to-head as they battle for the title of Sexiest Vegetarian Next Door and for a free trip to Hawaii in an online voting contest now through February 18! PETA works through public education, cruelty investigations, research, animal rescue, legislation, special events, celebrity involvement, and protest campaigns. I guess that the Sexiest Vegetarian Next Door falls into that body of work. Yeah, right!

PETA and the website GoVeg.com are sponsoring the Sexiest Vegetarian Next Door contest. I'm on the edge of my seat to find out who will win the female category. The male category I could care less about. And the profiles for each contestant gave me a chuckle. What's wrong with a good steak? Check out a couple of the contestants...,

Sara J, an 26 year old athlete from Edmonton, Alberta, Canada enjoys golfing, skiing, dancing, playing tennis, scuba diving, and more, has been vegetarian for a little more than a year and is already seeing enormous health benefits. The Canadian cutie—who counts Alicia Silverstone as one of her role models for vegetarianism—also loves making regular visits to her local humane society to give animals the "loving attention they so desperately need," and she plans to participate in many more activities to help animals in the near future.

And then there's Sharon from New Jersey, a tattoo-loving part-time model, spends time fostering dogs in need and volunteering at her local animal rescue organization. At the smoothie bar she owns, Sharon raises donations for doghouses that are sorely needed during the cold winter months and displays animal rights leaflets and magazines. In her spare time, Sharon likes dancing, chilling with her hubbie and doggies, cosmetics, tropical vacations, baking vegan goodies, and saving homeless animals—one animal at a time.

We couldn't pass up Fallion, the blond bombshell from Tomball, Texas, loves to tell friends and family about how horrible it is to eat meat—for animals, for the environment, and for their own health. But it seems she's got no problem with silicone! She has successfully convinced others to go vegetarian by sharing her research and by posting information on her Web site. In her spare time, the model and personal trainer likes being outdoors, shopping, working out, and spending time with animals!

Sadly though, I didn't see French actress Isabelle Caro, 27, the model from the Milan Fashion Week's anti-anorexia billboard campaign. I've heard that she's gained four pounds in the past month, and now weighs in at a whopping 66 pounds! That's up from last year, when she only weighed about 55. Her most outstanding feature, besides the body of a toothpick, is her character-defining large freckles, which, on the billboard, stood out almost as much as her hip bones. The freckles are drawn on, she says, in an attempt draw attention away from her body. I think she needs to be in this contest and win...but I don't think she'd be able to eat any of the Vegan goodies in the prize package but it would do her some good!

Now I don't want you to miss out on the fun. I mean, this is what PETA is sponsoring. And by entering, I'm sure you'll get put on tons of mailing lists. Go Veg, Go Now. Your Vote Counts! Vote by clicking on the button and make a girl happy!

It made me laugh when I read that "PETA focuses its attention on the four areas in which the largest numbers of animals suffer the most intensely for the longest periods of time: on factory farms, in laboratories, in the clothing trade, and in the entertainment industry. We also work on a variety of other issues, including the cruel killing of beavers, birds and other "pests," and the abuse of backyard dogs." So where do some of these people fit in? Maybe it's a different sort of "beaver" they're protecting. Maybe some of these backyard dogs (and why would you call these girls that?) are being treated badly. I think not eating is pretty cruel. The winner also gets a bundle of vegan goodies (like what...veggies of a Veggie Tales video?), and a PETA shirt. Wow! Count me in...here's my vote!

Do Pennies Make Cent$ or Are They Really Just A Pain In The Ass?

2008-02-11T04:58:00.000-08:00

Last night I watched 60 minutes and was intrigued by what correspondent Morley Safer discovered. In Washington, where they literally have the right to print money and where anything under a billion is chump change, there is an ongoing debate over whether it's worth the trouble to keep making cents. Should we make cents? We're talking about those insignificant one cent pieces that you throw as tips into Starbucks tip jars! It may come as a surprise to you, like it did me, that it now costs the U.S. Mint almost two cents to make a penny and almost a dime to make a nickel. If the economy of that eludes you, join the club.

Every year, the U.S. Mint turns out eight billion shiny new pennies, using hi-tech presses that operate faster than the eye can see, stamping out Abe Lincoln on blank pieces of metal. Despite inflation, despite their lowly status, eight billion pennies still add up to $80 million. Safer found out that the trouble is, to get $80 million in pennies, the government spends $134 million; to produce 1.3 billion nickels, as the Mint did last year, costs $124 million, even though the coins are worth about only half that much. How did we get in this fix? Coins are made out of metal. (Click on the video to see how pennies are made) Worldwide demand for copper, nickel and zinc have dramatically increased over the last three years. That's what's primarily driving up the cost of making the penny and nickel. The price of copper has tripled in the last five years; zinc has doubled. Both are in heavy demand, used in everything from electrical wiring to suntan lotion, so both coins are worth less than the metals they contain. But if you're thinking of putting in a backyard smelter and melting down your spare change to make a profit, forget it. The Treasury Department has declared that illegal. That figures!

Every year, the U.S. Mint turns out eight billion shiny new pennies, using hi-tech presses that operate faster than the eye can see, stamping out Abe Lincoln on blank pieces of metal. Despite inflation, despite their lowly status, eight billion pennies still add up to $80 million. Safer found out that the trouble is, to get $80 million in pennies, the government spends $134 million; to produce 1.3 billion nickels, as the Mint did last year, costs $124 million, even though the coins are worth about only half that much. How did we get in this fix? Coins are made out of metal. Worldwide demand for copper, nickel and zinc have dramatically increased over the last three years. That's what's primarily driving up the cost of making the penny and nickel. The price of copper has tripled in the last five years; zinc has doubled. Both are in heavy demand, used in everything from electrical wiring to suntan lotion, so both coins are worth less than the metals they contain. But if you're thinking of putting in a backyard smelter and melting down your spare change to make a profit, forget it. The Treasury Department has declared that illegal.

Although efforts in Congress to retire the penny altogether have failed in past years, its detractors say the time has come. Inflation has rendered the penny nearly valueless, right? If you can’t buy anything with a penny, if it takes at least a nickel or a dime to buy anything, then that individual unit just doesn't serve much good. Stephen Dubner, the co-author of the bestseller "Freakonomics," a zany look at money and American culture, puts the penny in the same category as your pesky appendix and other useless relics. He concedes the country suffers from "pennycitis" - a love affair with the penny that's hard to shake. After all, who's on it but that true American Idol honest Abe Lincoln, who, as a young store clerk, walked three miles to return six pennies he'd overcharged a customer. Fans say a penniless America would leave the penniless truly penniless, because merchants would round prices up to the nearest nickel. Mark Weller is the voice of "Americans for Common Cents," a pro-penny group that claims that rounding up will cost Americans $600 million a year. Say what?

Jeff Gore, a young scientist at MIT says keeping the penny is costing all of us, in more ways than one. He's a fearless crusader against the penny, arguing that if time is money, the cent is senseless. "I read somewhere that two or two and a half seconds are wasted per cash transaction as a result of the use of pennies." He has devised an Einsteinian equation of productivity to determine how much time America wastes dealing with pennies, counting them out in stores, giving them back in change, fishing them out of the couch and putting them in penny jars. "You come out to a wasted time of 2.4 hours per year per person which actually is quite a lot," Gore explains. With wages in the country averaging $17 an hour, that means pennies are costing each of us $41 a year. "And you multiply that by 250 million adults in this country, you come out to ten billion per year, which is quite a lot of money," Gore says. Hell we waste that just pusing the rewind button on our Tivo remote!

So what if it costs more to make it and we waste time using it. It's a penny. An American tradition. You know, I have a penny jar just like everybody else. I still turn those pennies in because they’re worth real money, but usually get charged a fee by my bank (do you believe that?) and of course, Coinstar! We used to say, 'A penny for your thoughts - a nickel for a kiss.' Now it takes a twenty and a ride on Santa Monica Boulevard just for that! Without the penny, charities would suffer. Starbucks barista's would suffer. And how would you tell a waiter that his service really sucked? Most people say they want to keep the lowly penny. In fact, the mint is in the process of redesigning the back of the penny to mark two milestones next year: the 200th anniversary of Lincoln’s birth and the 100th anniversary of the Lincoln penny itself. Get rid of it? Not likely. Thanks Morley, for the story!

The Writer's Strike Is Over! Well, Kinda. The "Done Deal" Isn't Done Til The Networks Say It Is!

2008-02-10T05:55:00.000-08:00

The strike is over! The strike is over! ! The strike is over! !! Well, maybe. Striking Hollywood writers on Saturday gave resounding support to a tentative agreement with studios that could end a strike that has semi-crippled the entertainment industry. It appears the approval process might briefly delay their return to work as the WGA board has to decide on whether to authorize a quick, two-day vote of its members to determine if a strike order should be lifted. If guild members support lifting the strike order, they could return to work as early as Wednesday. But what does that mean for the future of Network TV? The pilot season? The upfronts? The fall season? It could be good, it could be bad. The one thing is for sure, some of your favorite shows may not come back.

The settlement is not a "done deal" until the contract is ratified by members. According to the guild's summary, the deal provides union jurisdiction over projects created for the Internet based on certain guidelines, sets compensation for streamed, ad-supported programs and increases residuals for downloaded movies and TV programs. The writers deal is similar to one reached last month by the Directors Guild of America, but the WGA didn't get as much as it wanted, but it did pave the way for the directors to get a better deal than they would otherwise have gotten.

During the last strike, which lasted for more than three months, the networks lost 10 percent of their audience; this time around, audiences have the Internet and YouTube to turn to, not to mention DVDs and video games. (Ironically, part of the rift between the WGA and the networks is over compensation for Internet streaming.) Networks don't need an excuse to cancel shows. But they may decide it's not worth keeping marginal performers, especially because in some cases they would still have to pay the cast without actually producing new episodes. They can cut some overall deals via "force majeure" for some upper-level writers and producers, if they've decided those deals aren't worth the money. But that's outweighed by the amount of ad money they will have to return in an extended strike--advertisers buy time in advance for new programming.

The old writers’ strike has cause several major studios to strike back. Some contracts for new, current or developing shows have been cancelled. That translates to the fact that there may not be much of a new television season next fall. As the Fall season is usually determined in January the impact will be felt nine or ten months from now. As for the fate of some of your favorite television shows that have cliff hanger endings? Sad to say but any hope for a happy ending soon may well be, er, lost. But that's the "reality" of television, isn't it?

In The Presidential Election Race The Decision May Be Clearer Than We Think!

2008-02-09T10:00:00.000-08:00

The race is on. The decision is a tough one. Man vs. Woman. Black vs. White. Pub vs. Dem. Umberto Eco’s tongue-in-cheek theological analysis of the computer war that he wrote in 1994 has stood up well and is still entertaining, capturing a great deal of essential truth. In a politically-oriented riff on Mac vs. PC, NY Times Noam Cohen has posted a piece proposing that "Styles make fights - or so goes the boxing cliché. In 2008, it seems they make presidential campaigns, too. This is especially true for the two remaining Democrats, Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama. The experts seem to agree. The differences between hillaryclinton.com and barackobama.com can be summed up this way: Barack Obama is a Mac, and Hillary Clinton is a PC. I guess that makes the decision pretty simple, hunh?

Mr Cohen notes that "Mr. Obama's site is more harmonious, with plenty of white space and a soft blue palette. Its task bar is reminiscent of the one used at Apple's iTunes site." And he's right. There definitely is a thematic familiarity on the Obama site for those of us who spend time on Apple's Websites. Obama’s site, all the features and elements are seamlessly integrated, just like the experience of using any program on a Mac. It is designed even down to the playful logos that illustrate choices like, Volunteer or Register to Vote. It's like the packaging Apple uses to woo its customers.

That said, Cohen continues: "In contrast to barackobama.com, Mrs. Clinton's site uses a more traditional color scheme of dark blue, has sharper lines dividing content and employs cookie-cutter icons next to its buttons for volunteering, and the like...." Right again. Hillary’s text is all caps, like shouting. There are many messages vying for attention. Candidates are building a brand and it should be consistent. Just look at thoseWindows-esque, squared-off buttons. It also reminds me a bit of the Firefox browser, but never mind....

I would say that johnmccain.com is even more Apple-esque in its button bars and general look than even the Obama site. That would be thematically and stylistically consistent with Mr. McCain's rep. as the maverick, non-establishment candidate.

On the other hand, even though he's dropped out of the race and all you get is his Thank You notice, Mitt Romney's site at mittromney.com, reminded me a lot of Mrs. Clinton's, although he has a more attractive button-bar than she does, but his was horribly slow to load and was the only one that wouldn't fit comfortably on my PowerBook's 1024 x 768 display. I would have to say that in the Republican context, John McCain is the Mac and Mitt Romney the PC. But what do I know?

Unlike the Pubs, the Dems have incorporated social-networking tools to their sites — allowing supporters to create their own groups, for example and Mr. Obama is considered the pacesetter. In the long run, it may not be the ability to motivate the electorate that matters, just a simple matters of style. The iPod is the dominant music player, but the Mac is still a niche computer. The PC will probably carry Electoral College (with Mac perhaps carrying Vermont). Yeah, well maybe, but like Mr. Obama, the Mac is the one with momentum right now, having doubled its market share over the past three years! Ladies and Gentleman...may I introduce to you, the new President of the United States, The Apple Macintosh!

Whammm!! Zok!! Crash! Biff!! Kapow! This Isn't A Batman Episode - It's A Good Ol' Kentucky Courtroom!

2008-02-08T05:44:00.000-08:00

Now we all know the jokes about lawyers. And sometimes, you just want to punch them. Well, in Kentucky, a public defender who was punched in court by a disgruntled, low-life K-Mart store burglar, said Thursday he doesn't blame the man who gave him with two black eyes. The disorder in the court, captured on video, happened Monday at Scott County Circuit Court after the judge refused defendant Peter Hafer's request for a new attorney.

Hafer told the judge he didn't trust his court-appointed lawyer, Doug Crickmer. As Crickmer began to tell Judge Rob Johnson that Hafer couldn't choose his public defender, As Crickmer began to explain to the judge that his client couldn’t choose his public defender, Hafer lunged at him and connected with a roundhouse right to the jaw. After Crickmer fell to the ground, Hafer added some body shots to the stomach before being restrained by the bailiff and others. Despite having been pummeled, Crickmer said he understands how Hafer may have felt. Hafer told reporters, "I just couldn't take it anymore and I just snapped."

Crickmer went on to say that, “Mr. Hafer had been in jail for some time. He’s looking at some significant jail time if he’s convicted. He’s got some new charges coming at him. He has some anger-management issues. I think he just snapped.” Crickmer,suffered a cut on his cheek and a black eye, was taken to the Hospital and released later in the day. “He definitely one-shotted me, that’s for sure.”

Now heres a good excuse that people must hear on Springer and Dr. Phil so much it's become cool to use it. Hafer’s mother told the judge that her son might have bipolar disorder. Yeah, let's use that. For now, Hafer appears to have fought the lawyer, and the lawyer didn’t win. As for his request for a new attorney, Hafer apparently will get his way and authorities said a new one will be appointed. When Crickmer was asked if he would still defend Hafer, he said, “Well, I definitely think there’s a conflict of interest now.” You think so?

Today Might Just Be One Of Those Days To Be Called A Right-Wing Conservative!

2008-02-07T05:55:00.000-08:00

Today's one of those days when we show you what Discovering Insanity is all about. So, check out these wonderful stories about some of the most intersting people in our world and the things they do! A Florida woman pulled over when a deputy saw her run a red light had a case of beer belted in her front seat, but a young child unrestrained in the back, according to the arrest report. The deputy who pulled over Tina Williams Sunday reported smelling a strong odor of alcohol coming from the car. When he asked Williams for a driver's license, she replied, "I've never had one." According to the police report, a 24-pack of beer in the front passenger seat of her car was restrained by a seat belt but a 16-month-old girl was not in a child seat or safety belt. A deputy also found two metal pipes commonly used to smoke drugs in her purse. Police said Williams had bloodshot and watery eyes and staggered when she got out of the vehicle. Asked if she'd been drinking, she told the deputy, "I had a few." It was not clear if Tedrick would face any charges, but the child was released to her care, according to The Florida Times-Union. Say what?

A sex shop in Brasov, Transylvania, was fined more than $1200 and ordered to provide the man, said to be in his 40s, with a new doll. The man had also complained that the rubber doll deflated too quickly, local media said. A sex shop in Romania was fined £600 after a customer complained that an inflatable doll it sold him had lost its moan. The shop in Brasov, Transylvania (which is a real place, even though it sounds like a pun on the phrase 'bras off') was also ordered to give the man, in his 40s, a new rubber doll. He had also complained his doll deflated too quickly. Iulian Mara, of the consumer protection office, said: 'We went to the sex shop and found out he was justified.' And he complained because the inflatable doll went down on him??

OK folks, you figure out this one but it's a bit sickening. A Minneapolis man has been sentenced to five years of probation after police say he robbed a woman of her keys and cell phone then took off her shoes and licked her toes. Carlton Davis, 26, was sentenced to probation and evaluation for the next five years. According to the sentence, if Davis doesn't complete probation he will have to serve 21 months in prison. According to the criminal complaint, Davis approached a woman who was leaving work and said to her, in a very demanding voice, "put your cell phone and purse inside the bag". The complaint said that the 24-year-old woman was frightened so she complied. After giving Davis her belongings he demanded she take her shoes off. She did and Davis responded "Now I'm going to suck your feet". The victim told police that she was too shocked and scared to do anything. Davis then tried to suck her neck but as he approached her some people walked by and he took off. Just look at this guys mug shot. Doesn't he just look wacky? Maybe this guy needs one of those dolls in the previous story or a job at Payless Shoes!

And finally, this story has me a bit nervous. In a study of 361 men seen at their infertility clinic, researchers at the Cleveland Clinic found an association between the patients' cell phone use and their sperm quality. On average, the more hours the men spent on their cell phones each day, the lower their sperm count and the greater their percentage of abnormal sperm. The findings, published in the journal Fertility and Sterility, add to questions about the potential health effects of cell phones and other wireless devices. However, the new findings do not prove that cell phones somehow damage sperm, according to the researchers. "Our results show a strong association of cell phone use with decreased semen quality. However, they do not prove a cause-and- effect relationship," lead researcher Dr. Ashok Agarwal told Reuters Health. "We infer from our results that heavy cell phone use ... is associated with a lower semen quality." Agarwal said this study is more rigorously designed and will account for certain other factors like lifestyle habits (was chronic masterbation one of them?) and occupational exposures (walking through the mall on a hot summer day?) that might affect sperm quality. And my big question, just how do they measure the quality? Taste testing?

So there you go. A few happy and bizarre stories from our wacky insane world. I think I'm pretty much in the conservative McCain camp if this is what the liberal Hillary camp is up to these days. I'm wondering if the love doll guy realized it had a patch kit? Might have saved a little embarassment! Of course, that's just my opinion, I could be wrong!

Those Wacky Danes Have Got A Solution To Common Everyday Problems And Laziness!

2008-02-06T04:49:00.000-08:00

Don't you just hate pumping gas? Wouldn't you rather be texting than doing something so mundane? I mean, you work so hard to be sitting down for as much of the day as possible, be it at your desk, on the couch or behind the wheel, and then you end up having to stand on your legs when you need to refuel. Gross! Well, the days of you pumping your own gas might be coming to the end, as the Dutch have built a gas-pumping robot that takes all the effort out of the exercise. And we know that exercize is bad!

The $111,100 contraption comes loaded with a database of where the tank is located on cars, allowing it to open the tank door, unscrew the cap and then gingerly insert the nozzle without scratching up the paint. It'll allow you to keep the stink of gasoline off your hands and will let you stay in your toasty car texting your friends instead of actually developing social skills necessary to get on with life, which is good, although I can't really imagine too many gas stations willing to drop six figures on such a device. We'll see! And what's going to happen to a guy like this gas station attendant? He's outta a job!

The Dutch Danes really have a thing about needles. So bad is the problem with bloody or possibly HIV infected needles being found throughout city centers, parks, beaches and stair wells, that there is actually need for this device. It’s called the Urban Needle Box by Hån Pham, and this Zippo Lighter sized storage container is simple in design but tackles a complex and growing drug problem worldwide..it's kind of a pocket-sized safety box for sharps! As a convenient and clearly marked receptacle for used needles, the makers of the Urban Needle Box hope it to be a ubiquitous item in any drug abusers inventory.

Vesterbro, Denmark is a town part in Copenhagen which has lived with this problem for more than 30 years. This is an area where drug dealers, drug abusers, prostitutes, drunks and homeless people live their lives along side with young middle-class families and their small children. How nice! Everyday, thousands of bloody needles and syringes are to be found on the street, children’s playgrounds, private staircases and backyards, etc. More than 90% of the entire drug abusers in the area are infected by Hepatitis C. Urban Needle Box’s goal is to clear the city for used and infectious needles. This way, it will provide safety for the families and their children living in the area.

The Danes have a solution for almost everything! I mean, what could be done, is to payi addicts for returning a full box and emptying it at the place where they get more drugs! I know there's a good purpose to this type of device (as in diabetics) but heroin users? I think the concept might have just one difficulty to overcome: reminding someone who's brain is fizzing with Smack to actually put needles in it. But heck, they could sit in their car at the gas station, texting their friends, while their shooting themselves with another hit of some good drug and never bother a soul. Isn't that a nice thought? Hmmm.

New Laser Technology: Now It Will Overload The Superhighway...Not Just The information Superhighway

2008-02-05T05:28:00.001-08:00

Technology. Sometimes it a wonderful thing. Other times, it can be a big pain in the butt. And this future technology is one that I could see getting way out of hand. Apparently, lampposts really don't get enough credit for all they do, as not only do they provide a crucial light source for night-owls and a leaning post for really drunk people, but we've got them to thank for WiFi hotspots, surveillance checkpoints, and if Philips has its way, on-road warning signs. The oft overlooked street lamp could be getting a bit of an upgrade according to a recent patent application from Philips, as the company envisions a "traffic information system" designed to convey messages to drivers without requiring them to look away from the road ahead.

Could real-time traffic information be projected directly onto the road ahead? By installing a high-powered "laser" and matching it up with movable mirrors, the firm hopes to divulge pertinent information such as upcoming hazards, weather conditions, or other random tidbits of knowledge onto the pavement for drivers to view. Moreover, the units would be RF / IP controllable in order to change the messages nearly on-the-fly, giving motorists a quick heads-up about recent traffic changes or detours. Still, the premise of beaming warning signs and advertisements on the road ahead sounds perfectly viable if you're on a rural two-lane at 2:00AM, but we can't imagine things being very legible when it's beaming messages onto hoods of angry commuters in your average city.

The solution would be cheaper than installing a large video display and safer too, since drivers would not need to take their eyes off the road. Also, a warning about ice or danger on the road ahead would not need a full colour screen, so the projector could use just a single-colour laser. As well as providing warning signs, the laser projectors could paint temporary lanes onto the road, steering traffic round an obstruction, or away from the main highway and onto a side road. It's a neat idea, but how well would it work in busy traffic? Each lamppost would have its own IP address and would connect wirelessly, or via a cable, to a central traffic control centre. The projectors could also tap into the power already used to illuminate streetlamps.

Now I can see some hacker hacking in and causing some major traffic jam or accident. And the thought of seeing ads on the raod in front of me is enough. Have you seen those giant LED billboards! And since they could be connected to the internet, maybe we could do Google searches via a voice system in our car and have the results flash on the road in front of us! And let's not forget the leaders in the use of the internet. The porn industry. There's got to be something in this idea for them. Hmmmm.

Super Bowl XLII Review: It Was Actually A Good Game That Made The Show!

2008-02-04T04:52:00.001-08:00

It was this kind of Super Bowl: Pretty Dam Exciting. Although I think the New York Giants had a much better day than the Patriots. Now I'm not a big fan of football, but it was great to see the Patriots spinning their wheels during the underdog New York Giants' 17-14 upset victory, tripping up New England's quest for a 19-0 season at the final leg. A totally strange outcome for a team that seemed destined for historic glory. Eli Manning cast off older brother Peyton's shadow and found his footing. Peyton's kid brother not only matched his sibling's achievement of last year with the Indianapolis Colts, and he was seen in a luxury box jumping up and pumping both fists when the Giants nailed the winning touchdown. And what about the halftime show? Hmmm.

The 80's are dead and gone. To me, nothing was worse than the halftime performance of Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers. Did you know Tom and the boys will be touring North America this summer? You do now...run out and get your tickets. Petty and his band put together a solid four-song set during their 12 minutes onstage. It was good to hear "American Girl" again. It might have been better to hear it at a Super Bowl staged a little closer to, say, 1980, but with the NFL, hip is something that is protected by special padding during games. And thank God he had that beard. Seeing his gaunt face has always driven me crazy!

And what about the ads. There were a couple of good ones and a lot of lame ones.Perfection is never the goal of these ads. Far from it. Shock value remains a popular objective, but try as these ads did, nothing plugging liquid refreshment, cars, tires or websites but no ad compared to the edge-of-the-seat surprise that accompanied Eli Manning's late touchdown pass to Plaxico Burress. There were too many commercials that we overenchanced by computer graphics. But there were a couple I liked and got a laugh or two out of. So, without further ado...here are a couple of my faves from what was one of the most exciting games in a long time...and I don't really like football!

Okay. I can't stand energy drinks. They are a waste of money. But this ad for Amp was just to wiered and bizarre to not put in this review. To see some guy put jumper cables on his nipples was just wrong. Especially when he looked like me when I was 459 pounds. But you had to laugh...you couldn't do anything else!.

Now I've never seen any Will Ferrell movies, but this Jackie Moore "semi-Pro" ad for Bud Ligh made me laugh. It was witty and pretty funny. The overall content left me disturbed but the one line at the end of the 30-second piece for this beer which I never drink made me laugh out loud. I can't remember hearing the words, "Suck One" in a commercial. So folks, click and enjoy.

CGI aside, and the fact that it featured Justin Timberlake, this Pepsi ad started off pretty damn boring. But as it progressed, it got funny. And when our boy Justin, who was being sucked across streets, water, and roads on his way to ???, well, it seems a little mailbox got in his way. And then it got in his way again. And again. And again.And again.And again. It made the commercial worthwhile!

And finally, not that we needed to know that the end of the game was coming at us. We were glued to the screen. But the Victori-ahhhh Secret girl let us know that there's more to life than just football. Although with all the beer and chips most people had during the game, I don't think there was much hanky-panky going on!

So there it is...Discover Insanity's review of the Super Bowl. For the first time I can remember, the game was better than the other entertainment that was forced upon us by the good people at Fox. This may probably be the last sports story you'll see here, unless it involves the "Athlete's Arrest Of The Day!" Hope you stayed safe, didn't drink too much, ate less than you intended and just had a good time. That's what it was all about, right?

Super Bowl XLII: You May Think It's Live Football, But It's Not. It's Delayed!

2008-02-03T06:45:00.000-08:00

It's a big day today! The New England Patriots will square off against the New York Giants in Super Bowl XLII. People will be glued to their TV sets to watch the 5-hour pregame crap and then it's time for the big game...LIVE from Arizona! Not! Yes folks, you may think it's live, but I will guarantee you that it ain't! The delay between what happens on the field will be delayed up to one whole minute! Add that to the satellite delays and it happened quite a while ago. I hate to break your bubble, but since the Superbowl Halftime Malfunction a couple of years ago, there hasn't been much "live" TV at all. Faced with big fine. the FCC who is responsible for protecting the nation's airwaves, still provides silly regulatory things for events like this!

It all started with Super Bowl XXXVIII, which acually was broadcast live in 2004 on CBS, was noted for a controversial halftime show in which Janet Jackson's bare breast was exposed by Justin Timberlake in what was referred to as a "wardrobe malfunction". The incident, sometimes referred to as Nipplegate, was widely discussed and was the most replayed event in Tivo history! It, along with the rest of the halftime show, led to a crackdown and widespread debate on perceived "indecency" in broadcasting, leading to a record $550,000 fine levied by the Federal Communications Commission to CBS as well as an increase of FCC fines per indecency violation to $325,000. Additionally, the halftime show was seen by some as a sign of decreasing morality in the national culture.

Now the FCC, focuses on the interests of a few narrow special interests groups that are so offended by what they see on television that they post long graphic descriptions of what offends them, just so you know why you should be offended and/or tune in when the show is played in reruns. And the FCC has taken notice. In fact, just recently they fined the TV show "NYPD Blue", which has been off-the-air for years, with an indecency judgement.Having read over the FCC ruling on a 2003 episode of NYPD Blue, in which Charlotte Ross exposes her bare behind (warning, link contains uncensored scene), I'd be amused if I weren't so appalled, especially at their view of the scene...

Here is the FCC's description of the scene in question, edited for your amusement:

The complaints refer to a scene at the beginning of the program, during which a woman and a boy, who appears to be about seven or eight years old, are involved in an incident that includes adult female nudity. During the scene in question, a woman wearing a robe is shown entering a bathroom, closing the door, and then briefly looking at herself in a mirror hanging above a sink. With her back to the camera, she removes her robe, thereby revealing the side of one of her breasts and a full view of her back. The camera shot includes a full view of her buttocks and her upper legs as she leans across the sink to hang up her robe. The complainants contend that such material is indecent and request that the Commission impose sanctions against the licensees responsible for broadcasting this material.

Now we get to the FCC's indecency analysis.

As an initial matter, we find that the programming at issue is within the scope of our indecency definition because it depicts sexual organs and excretory organs - specifically an adult woman's buttocks. Although ABC argues, without citing any authority, that the buttocks are not a sexual organ, we reject this argument, which runs counter to case law, and common sense.

Oh my gawd! The butt is a sex organ?

We also find that the material is, in the context presented here, patently offensive as measured by contemporary community standards for the broadcast medium. Turning to the first principal factor in our contextual analysis, the scene contains explicit and graphic depictions of sexual organs. The scene depicts multiple, close-range views of an adult woman's naked buttocks. In this respect, this case is similar to other cases in which we have held depictions of nudity to be graphic and explicit.

Have the FCC gurus never been to a beach? Protect us from Coppertone ads.

Turning to the second factor in our contextual analysis, although not dispositive, we find that the broadcast dwells on and repeats the sexual material. We have held that repetition and persistent focus on sexual or excretory material is a relevant factor in evaluating the potential offensiveness of broadcasts. Here, the scene in question revolves around the woman's nudity and includes several shots of her naked buttocks. The material is thus dwelled upon and repeated.

Excretory material. Why do they keep refering to excretory material? Oh.... her butt. Remind me to send a complaint to FCC about those toilet paper ads with the bears or that cute baby's bottom.

With respect to the third factor, we find that the scene's depiction of adult female nudity, particularly the repeated shots of a woman's naked buttocks, is titillating and shocking. ABC concedes that the scene included back and side nudity, but contends that it was "not presented in a lewd, prurient, pandering, or titillating way." ABC asserts that the purpose of the scene was to "illustrate[] the complexity and awkwardness involved when a single parent brings a new romantic partner into his or her life." Even accepting ABC's assertions as to the purpose of the scene, they do not alter our conclusion that the scene's depiction of adult female nudity is titillating and shocking.

Yes, I'm sure this scene was shocking and titillating (I can't use the word titillating without laughing to the only person in America who missed the graphic content warnings in front of the episode. I'm also sure it was shocking to the viewers who complained, watching NYPD Blue for the express interest of finding "shocking" scenes, Tivo'd it, and rewound and fast forwarded it many times so they could write their description of it for the FCC.

Let's jump to the fines.....

We therefore turn to the proposed forfeiture amount, which is based on the factors enumerated in Section 503(b)(2)(D) of the Act and the facts and circumstances of this case. On balance and in light of all of the circumstances, we find that a $27,500 forfeiture amount for each station would appropriately punish and deter the apparent violation in this case. Therefore, we find that each licensee listed in the Attachment is apparently liable for a proposed forfeiture of $27,500 for each station that broadcast the February 25, 2003, episode of "NYPD Blue" prior to 10 p.m.

In America, we do have Freedom of Speech...just watch what you say. The networks have done more than its fair share of work to warn you that the content may not be suitable for kids. As adults, we have to take some freakin' responsibility for our actions. Trust me, with all of the porgram ractices people watching and the delays built in to protect us, you won't be seeing anything offensive. Except maybe of a quick shot of this Bud Girl here on the right. Remember, it's not about the woman, it's about the product. Yummmmm! Enjoy the commercials...it's not about the game anyway, right?!

Two Words For Mississippi Legislator's: Fuck You And Your Obesity Law!

2008-02-02T06:36:00.000-08:00

Pardon my french (and my anger) on the title of this story but this one hits home. Imagine heading out to dinner with your partner or family, only to be asked to step on a scale and then turned away because you're Body Mass Index or BMI is over 30. That's what eating out in Mississippi might be like if Representative W.T. Mayhall, Jr. gets his bill passed. The bill would require that people who are obese, as defined by the state, be banned from being served in restaurants. It would also require that restaurant owners keep records of customers BMIs. The proposal would allow health inspectors to yank the permit from any restaurant that "repeatedly" feeds extremely overweight customers. This is a law, no matter how much in the "interest of public health" it is, has got to be shot down - big time!

Mayhall authored the bill in all seriousness, although he doesn't believe it will pass. Claiming the "need for government action" in response to the obesity crisis, Mayhall apparently believes that shame and embarrassment will help people take better care of their health. The "Three Stooges" of Mississippi, Mayhall, Read, and Shows, go on to propose in their bill that the Mississippi Department of Health in conjunction with Mississippi's Council on Obesity would set the criteria for establishing what the weight limit will be for patrons wishing to dine at a restaurant anywhere within the state borders (ostensibly using the overused and irrelevant body mass index to determine whether someone is obese or not). Strict compliance with this law will be required of the restaurants or else the state "may revoke the permit of any food establishment that repeatedly violates the provisions of this section." And what is that criteria?

I'm not making this crap up. Here is the text of the proposed law in Mississippi. It's apalling!

MISSISSIPPI LEGISLATURE

2008 Regular Session

To: Public Health and Human Services; Judiciary B

By: Representative Mayhall, Read, Shows
House Bill 282

AN ACT TO PROHIBIT CERTAIN FOOD ESTABLISHMENTS FROM SERVING FOOD TO ANY PERSON WHO IS OBESE, BASED ON CRITERIA PRESCRIBED BY THE STATE DEPARTMENT OF HEALTH; TO DIRECT THE DEPARTMENT TO PREPARE WRITTEN MATERIALS THAT DESCRIBE AND EXPLAIN THE CRITERIA FOR DETERMINING WHETHER A PERSON IS OBESE AND TO PROVIDE THOSE MATERIALS TO THE FOOD ESTABLISHMENTS; TO DIRECT THE DEPARTMENT TO MONITOR THE FOOD ESTABLISHMENTS FOR COMPLIANCE WITH THE PROVISIONS OF THIS ACT; AND FOR RELATED PURPOSES.

BE IT ENACTED BY THE LEGISLATURE OF THE STATE OF MISSISSIPPI:

SECTION 1. (1) The provisions of this section shall apply to any food establishment that is required to obtain a permit from the State Department of Health under Section 41-3-15(4)(f), that operates primarily in an enclosed facility and that has five (5) or more seats for customers.

(2) Any food establishment to which this section applies shall not be allowed to serve food to any person who is obese, based on criteria prescribed by the State Department of Health after consultation with the Mississippi Council on Obesity Prevention and Management established under Section 41-101-1 or its successor. The State Department of Health shall prepare written materials that describe and explain the criteria for determining whether a person is obese, and shall provide those materials to all food establishments to which this section applies. A food establishment shall be entitled to rely on the criteria for obesity in those written materials when determining whether or not it is allowed to serve food to any person.

(3) The State Department of Health shall monitor the food establishments to which this section applies for compliance with the provisions of this section, and may revoke the permit of any food establishment that repeatedly violates the provisions of this section.

SECTION 2. This act shall take effect and be in force from and after July 1, 2008.

Have these state lawmakers completely lost their friggin' minds?! Besides the obvious discrimination against the obese that is explicitly written into this legislation, this would also put restaurant employees in the sticky position of trying to determine if someone is too fat to be served or not. What are they gonna do, put a scale at the front door a la "The Biggest Loser" before you can walk through the dining room area to determine if you qualify to eat there or not?! Has the idiot legislature of Mississippi thought through all of the unintended consequences that such a law would pose on restaurant owners and their employees? Can you say discrimination? Can you say lawsuit? Can you say windfall!

Look, I understand obesity. I was 549 pounds before I had gastric bypass surgery. I did it for health reasons, not vanity! To discriminate against anyone, race, color, creed, ethnicity, handicap or OBESITY, is wrong. And stupid. Sure, there is a problem out there and Mississippi is at the top of the list. But the problem is education and no law is ever going to help that. The costs of legislation such as this would be detrimental. Think of the economic loss if fat people didn't eat. And what if any person, fat or skinny, couldn't get food to survive? And what about the embarrassment factor? There's already enough of that. It's kind of like racism only now it's against fat people! I guess that the world belong to skinny people and that aneroxia is a good thing. Bulemia? Hell, that's even better. I'm sure this bill won't pass, and the purpose was to get some attention to the problem. But to even put it out there is like putting a gun in the hands of some neo-Nazi. Maybe these three stooges need to walk in the shoes of a fat person like Tyra Banks did to realize what it's like out there being fat. Then maybe they'd think twice. What's next? Mandatory executions when you turn 65 because of overpopulation. Probably. Of course, that's just my opinion...and I'm not wrong!

This Guy Plays Golf Better Than I Do!

2008-02-01T08:08:00.001-08:00

I love a good story. And what are the odds of this happening to anyone? Leo Fiyalko, 92, a legally blind golfer with macular degeneration, scored a hole-in-one at a Clearwater country club. His 110-yard shot with a five iron was his first hole-in-one..and he's been golfing for 60 years!

Leo Fiyalko would just as soon get on with life. Big deal. And who cares if he is legally blind, with a condition called macular degeneration? Fiyalko doesn't understand what all the fuss is about. "It's my first hole-in-one, and I never saw it," Fiyalko said. That's about all he'll say on the subject. But that didn't stop his friends in the Twilighters Club golf group from presenting him with a plaque on Jan. 24 commemorating the feat. There is a picture on the plaque of the fifth hole and a line that reads: "Leo Fiyalko, hole-in-one, five iron, 110 yards."

"I was just trying to put the ball on the green." Fiyalko, who has been playing golf since he moved to St. Petersburg from Warren, Ohio, in the 1950s, was playing with Larry Kellaris, Dorothy Mrkvica and Jean Gehring. In his prime, Fiyalko played to a seven handicap, but now he needs help lining up his shots and finding his golf balls. "Dorothy actually shot before Leo and her ball went into the water," Gehring said. "We were all over by the water trying to find the ball and I looked up and Leo was about to hit. I said, 'Hey, somebody has to watch Leo.' So I went up there and saw him hit and it was a pretty good shot. I could tell it went on the green, so when we got up there I didn't see it. I looked in the hole and there it was."

Reports say Fiyalko reacted with a simple, "How 'bout that," and continued with his round. When he got to the clubhouse after the round, his friends had to prod him to tell his wife, Pat, about the feat. "When he got back to the clubhouse we told him to tell Pat what he did," said Sue Rogan, who has run the Twilighters for the last seven years. "He said no, he didn't want to. So Pat says, 'I suppose you made a hole-in-one.' He said, 'Yes, I did.'

I love this story and the fact that he still gets out there and plays. And talk about humble. This man exemplifies it! When his club presented a plaque to Fiyalko, he buried his face in his hands and shook his head. "Oh boy," he said. Now that's cool! Congratulations you ol' duffer!

Breaking News: Britney Spears. Britney. Britney. Britney. Britney. Britney. Britney. When's It Going To Stop?

2008-01-31T05:24:00.000-08:00

This morning I got up, grabbed a cup of coffee, lit a cigarette, fired up the computer and turned on the TV. I didn't expect to see what I saw but it's become so friggin' common nowadays that it didn't surprise me. On the net, and all over the TV it was "Breaking News." Oh really? Come on now. Yes folks, again, Britney Spears, the girl who gets more news coverage and magazine covers than the Presidential election, was taken to UCLA Medical Center for a "mental health evaluation hold," allegedly under orders from her private psychiatrist. Initially the reason for the substantial police activity and ambulance visit at her home Wednesday evening was alleged to have been a suicide attempt. Is this really news? Do we need to know eveything?

Sadly, X17online.com initially reported that pop star Britney Spears attempted suicide Wednesday evening around 10 p.m. in her home. TMZ.com later reported that the ambulance that came to take Spears to UCLA Medical Center was planned days in advance by her psychiatrist. Spears is under the care of a psychiatrist who is treating her bi-polar disorder, TMZ reported. "The shrink was alarmed at her reckless driving and her conduct and has decided Brit needs to be hospitalized on another 5150 hold, meaning she is a danger to herself and others," the site said. TMZ.com also reported that Spears' mother Lynne Spears is against committing the pop star, while friend Sam Lufti supports the doctor; but that the two drove to the hospital together after the ambulance left Spears' home.

And also in the news yesterday, which is just another push towards the edge of the cliff, a fashion consultant who bought clothes and had them delivered to Britney Spears has sued the wayward pop star for failing to pay her. A lawyer for Las Vegas resident Nancy Rosu filed suit in Clark County District Court for damages in excess of $50,000 on Jan. 18. Rosu's lawyer, Natricia Tricano, says "there are no hard feelings" between the two and if Spears' settles her tab, the matter will be dropped. How decent of this idiot...but let's go public first.

This has gotten out of control. News reports even state that the FAA, was involved, clearing airspace for the trip to her personal psychiatrist's hospital, UCLA Medical Center. She is a beautiful girl. Just look at this picture here. She was - and still is - a pop idol to many young teenagers. But here life is being covered so much, both professionally and personally, that she doesn't have a clue and probably can't see the line between the two. And that's sad.

When is it going to stop? What's it going to take before the media leaves her alone? I feel sad for her. Her life is under the microscope 24/7. It would be sad, with all these crys for help, if she ended up committing suicide or dying like so many other preventable young celebs. It's time to wake up people. Leave her alone. She's a human being, not a media icon. She needs help. She's crying out for it. Can't anyone hear it?

The East Way To Get Rich Quick By Using Your Lack Of Common Sense And Decency!

2008-01-30T04:36:00.001-08:00

In today's world, if something happens to you or a loved one, don’t grieve simply use it as a way to get rich. Part of life is living on the edge and assuming the risk. It’s all about money... everyone is looking for a way to get millions, regardless of circumstances…encouraged by poor lawyers who get 30%. We have so many lawyers now, suing is the only way to make any money. People are encouraged to sue, so it has now become a routine. And the sat part about these frivolous lawsuits is that most big companies probably settle them and give the plaintiff somewhere between $10K to $100K to make it go away. So, let's read about some good ones...

In Houston, Texas, a lawsuit against a state lawmaker claims he forcibly kissed a woman at a holiday party and demands he be tested for sexually transmitted diseases. Krysynthia Rido sued state district court, saying they fear AIDS and other diseases because Rido was exposed to Democratic state Rep. Borris Miles' "unwanted bodily fluids." She wants the court to order Miles to undergo blood tests for sexually transmitted diseases. The suit also accuses Miles of assault and battery and asks for compensatory and punitive damages. The complaint states that Miles entered a hotel ballroom without an invitation, confronted guests, displayed a pistol and forcibly kissed another man's wife and contends that Miles acted in a "depraved, unconscionable and reckless manner, leaving in his wake shame, embarrassment and mental trauma."

Wiggle when you jiggle. A Manhattan judge has thrown out $1 million suit against New York University by a former student who claimed he broke his hip at a Jell-O wrestling dorm party. Avram Wisnia was a junior at NYU in 2004 when he and his dorm mates organized a party called "Beach Bash." While horsing around a kiddie pool filled with gelatin, Wisnia was pushed and shattered his hip. Wisnia's 2005 lawsuit blamed NYU for allowing the event and for having the school's food service provide the gelatin. But Manhattan Justice Carol Robinson Edmead ruled that Wisnia knew what he was doing. This case broke the mold but in the end justice was served sweetly.

And now the people react. In Denver, people upset over a man who sued a 7-year-old boy over a ski collision have subjected him and his wife to "an electronic tar and feathering," their lawyer said. David Pfahler and Marlene Ambrogio left their Allentown, Pa., home for the holidays because angry people tied up their phone lines with repeated, automated calls since news reports of the lawsuit. "People are really angry about this, and they should be," Susan Swimm said. The childs father, Robb Swimm, said that he saw the crash and that Scott was skiing slowly and in control. "Scott just kind of tapped his ski boots," he said. The suit claims Pfahler suffered a torn shoulder tendon and seeks compensation for physical therapy, vacation time, nursing and medical services provided by Pfahler's wife, and other expenses. It estimates the couple's losses at more than $75,000. Vacation time? Who in the world sues a child? It just boggles my mind.

And now, here's a couple of quick ones I think you'll all love...

Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas, was awarded $780,000 by a jury after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were understandably surprised at the verdict, considering the misbehaving little toddler was Ms. Robertson's son.

Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000 and medical expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Mr. Truman apparently didn't notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when he was trying to steal his neighbor's hubcaps.

Terrence Dickson of Bristol, Pennsylvania, was leaving a house he had just finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not able to get the garage door to go up since the automatic door opener was malfunctioning. He couldn't re-enter the house because the door connecting the house and garage locked when he pulled it shut. The family was on vacation, and Mr. Dickson found himself locked in the garage for eight days. He subsisted on a case of Pepsi he found, and a large bag of dry dog food. He sued the homeowner's insurance claiming the situation had caused him undue mental anguish. The jury agreed to the tune of $500,000.

Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware, successfully sued the owner of a night club in a neighboring city when she fell from the bathroom window to the floor and knocked out her two front teeth. This occurred while Ms. Walton was trying to sneak through the window in the ladies room to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge. She was awarded $12,000 and dental expenses.

Isn't life grand? Money for nothin'! Here's an interesting fact. Did you realize that lawyers were once “illegal” in Virginia. People were so disgusted with them, they banned lawyers. We ought to look at that statute again. Maybe, with enough stupid lawsuits, we’ll be force to wrap the whole world in rubber and put a warning label on everything. Or maybe we could make stupid people assume the full risk for the stupid things they do. Yeah, right!

State Of The Nation: No Better Than Last Year And We've Only Got 353 Days To Go!

2008-01-29T05:04:00.000-08:00

Last night was one of the most boring nights on television. I would have rather watched Oprah! or Dr. Phil. But last night, President Bush, gave his last State of the Union Address. It was in many ways his legacy speech although not the kind of legacy I really want to remember. His speech lasted a long 53 minutes, interrupted frequently by applause, most often by Republican lawmakers who needed to get up off their butts anyway and stretch their legs. A major challenge for Mr. Bush in his address was simply being heard when many Americans already are looking beyond him to the next president. Hillary Clinton said, "Tonight is a red-letter night in American history. It is the last time George Bush will give the State of the Union. Next year it will be a Democratic president giving it." The bottom line on this speech: Government isn't the answer.

But hey, fans of the State of the Nation drinking game got to do shots as the President prodded Congress to extend a law allowing surveillance on suspected terrorists, renew his education law and approve free-trade pacts with Colombia, Panama and South Korea, gave recycled ideas on alternative energy, affordable health care, housing reform and veterans' care. One of the best lines was when he told his delighted audience, "...I am pleased to report that the IRS accepts both checks and money orders." Mr. Bush also renewed his ideas on climate change and everyone got an extra shot when he mentioned stem cell research. Bottom's up!

And I never saw a more bored audience in my life. Just look at these photos. And with the campaigns in full swing, we saw that Sen. Barack Obama came into the chamber first, followed closely by his new barpal, Sen. Edward Kennedy. Sen. Hillary Clinton entered the chamber a few minutes later, equally mobbed by wanna-be folk singers. She reached out and shook Kennedy's hand. Obama, nearby, turned away. How's that for getting miffed!

And what about this other useless waster of television time? Delivering the official Democratic response, Kansas Gov. Kathleen Sebelius urged Mr. Bush to work with Congress and help the U.S. regain global standing lost because of the war. She gave a speech that was so boring and mundane that I wanted to go out and buy ton's of incandescent light bulbs just so I don't have to "go green" when they are banned in 2012. And I was surprised that she didn't give a shout out to her son's board game which I blogged about yesterday. That would have been more fun than this speech.

And just so you get one laugh today, he's a good news story that almost sounds like one of Teddy Kennedy's. A man in Michigan was charged with drunken driving after going through two bottles of wine, cutting through a snowstorm on his lawn mower and riding down the center of the street to reach a liquor store, authorities said. Police found Frank Kozumplik homeward bound on a John Deere tractor toting four bottles of wine in a paper bag. His blood alcohol level was 2 1/2 times Michigan's legal driving limit. They arrested him and confiscated the mower. Now that's funny!

Mr. Bush made only one mention of Osama bin Laden because I think he's still trying to figure out where his weapons of mass destruction were hidden (pun intended). Mr. Bush will turn from yesterday's speech and plunge into politics, which he's not that good at anyway while raising money for Republicans at events in California, Nevada, Colorado and Missouri. That's OK with me if he's out of the office for a while. He's only got 353 days left. Yippee!!!!

New Board Game Shows You How To Be The Prison Bitch!

2008-01-28T05:44:00.000-08:00

Ever been to prison? Well, now's there's a board game that will make you think tqice about going there. This game is intended for mature audiences — not children — and is simply intended for entertainment. The son of Kansas Gov. Kathleen Sebelius is peddling a board game titled "Don't Drop the Soap," a prison-themed game he created as part of a class project at the Rhode Island School of Design. The game also goes on sale starting Jan. 31, and it's website describes "Don't Drop the Soap" as a game "Where no one playing enters through the front door!" How sweet.

John Sebelius, 23, has the backing of his mother and father, U.S. Magistrate Judge Gary Sebelius. Sebelius spokeswoman Nicole Corcoran said both parents "are very proud of their son John's creativity and talent." Sebelius is selling the game on his Internet site for $34.99, plus packaging, shipping and handling. The contact information on the Web site lists the address of the governor's mansion. Corcoran said the address will change when John Sebelius moves. Purchaser's of the first 3,000 games include a certificate of authenticity for limited edition print.

"Fight your way through 6 different exciting locations in hopes of being granted parole," the site says. "Escape prison riots in The Yard, slip glass into a mob boss' lasagna in the Cafeteria, steal painkillers from the nurse's desk in the Infirmary, avoid being cornered by the Aryans in the Shower Room, fight off Latin Kings in Gang War, and try not to smoke your entire stash in The Hole." Sebelius' mom Kathleen actually went undercover into one of the jails to see how prisoners were treated,” John says. “She actually was strip-searched and everything. She was in there for a few days.” He actually invented the game three years ago as a class project at the Rhode Island School of Design.

The game includes five tokens representing a bag of cocaine, a handgun and three characters: wheelchair-using 'Wheelz," muscle-flexing "Anferny" and business suit-clad "Sal 'the Butcher.'" Sebelius sought legal advice to be sure he followed proper requirements, and he even took out a loan on his own to pay for the production of his work. Sebelius' game is not the first to poke politically incorrect fun at incarceration. The Web site BoardgameGeek.com features a game called "Prison Bitch: The Card Game," while several video game publishers have gone behind bars for such titles as "The Suffering" and "Prison Tycoon."

This is a game that might make you sort of "scared straight!" Sorry, bad choice of words. It's definitely an experience that only someone on the outside could appreciate and probably could become a kind of a family tradition to play the game at Christmas time. See, now my tatoo makes sense! Have fun and watch your back!

Tech Watch: Mindless Crap For People Like Me!

2008-01-27T05:41:00.000-08:00

It's time for Discover Insanity's Tech Watch. With all the proliferation of crap on the internet, we think that it's important to tell you about some of it. And with the politcal playing field like it is, the candidates are using "high tech" to the max. And who's bigger than Microsoft? Well, they just launched a new political search engine called LeftvsRight.com. Two hosts help guide you through the site, one on the Left, one on the Right - quite literally. Type in a search term and you'll get a witty remark from each host. (and I don't think WGA writer's are working on this!)Leave them alone and who knows what they'll say or do. It's fun to see what the two hosts will say, but the search results aren't exactly groundbreaking and I can think of better things to say about Hillary! Check it out at leftvsright.com.

Again, thanks to the net, there is a ton of political information out there. The problem is, it can be tough to navigate. That's where PoliticalBase.com comes in. On this bizarre website, they've compiled information from various sources and made it easily searchable and cross-referenced. The result? You can see how much money your neighbors are contributing to a politician. You can see how much money a company is donating to a politician. The only data they are not tracking is how many pee's, poops and farts the candidates are lettng fly. There are even dozens of polls, updated daily. Check it out - PoliticalBase.com

You know what? Someone out there loves you. and he's a 14-year old geek behind a computer writing viruses, worms and malicious code. And these hackers are trying to ruin this Hallmark holiday with evil emails that will infect your computer. The first one of these worms, Nuwar.OL, reaches computers by email with subjects like “I Love You Soo Much”, “Inside My Heart” or ” You… In My Dreams”. The text of the email includes a link to a website that downloads the malicious code. The page is very simple and looks like a romantic greeting card, with a large pink heart. Once it has infected a computer, the worm sends out a large amount of emails to the infected user’s contacts, in order to spread. This also creates a heavy load on networks and slows down the computer.

As a courtesy to our readers, whom we hope know this already, here are a very basic series of tips to avoid falling victim to one of these malicious codes:

Do not open any emails that come from unknown sources.
Do not click any links included in email messages, even though they may come from reliable sources. It is better to type them in the address bar.
Do not run attached files that come from unknown sources. Especially these days, stay on the alert for files that claim to be Valentine’s greeting cards, romantic videos, etc.
Have an effective security solution installed, capable of detecting both known and new malware strains. There are several free tools for scanning computers for malware.

It's a virtual world out there. You don't even need to leave your laptop to get a lapdance anymore. And now a company called EveryScape is taking maps a step further by letting your virtually tour major cities. So far they've re-created Boston, Miami, New York, Bejing and Aspen. Laguna Beach (The O.C.) is their newest. It's like taking a vacation without leaving your computer! The neat thing here is that you can also "step inside" certain stores or attractions. It's kind of boring to me and I can't wait until they take me on the next exciting virtual tour...like this one of the bowery. Now that's entertainment!

Holy crap, just how hip is LA? And this is insane. Starting on Monday, people who have medical conditions such as glaucoma, cancer, and the deadly not-stoned-enough virus can start getting their fat buds from special "AVMs." These electronic drug dealers won't be out on the street next to a Pepsi machine, of course. No, they'll be "housed in standalone rooms, abutting two dispensaries and protected by round-the-clock security guards." To use them, you'll need to go with a prescription in hand, get fingerprinted and get a prepaid credit card that's loaded up with your dosage and what strain of weed you want. Yeah, no joke, the pharmacists give you a choice between OG Kush and Granddaddy Purple. In the future, the machines may also be outfitted to sell other popular drugs such as Viagra, Vicodin and Propecia. Combine all four for a really interesting night that'll also slowly grow your hair back or hair on your palms!

Now here's a depressing tech item. Understandably, the near sighted, big breasted, and fat gutted amongst us can have some trouble seeing the readout on a conventional scale. Thankfully, the Eye Level Wireless Scale can help with a handheld or wall mountable remote infrared LCD that displays the weight calculated on the four sensor scale. Never think of those big gozangas as a curse again! Check out this embarassing product by clicking here!

Well folks, that's it for our segment of Tcch Watch. Hopefully you can have a little fun with some of the virtual internet doeses we've given you. So go to that vending machine, grab some weed, drink some beers and check out the the political scene...and you can be butt naked and do it all without leaving your couch. How's that for mindless entertainment?

Court Snippet: A Wee Little Flap Of Skin Goes To Trial In The Oregon Supreme Court

2008-01-26T05:38:00.000-08:00

Warning: Before you read this, get ready to wince! The Oregon Supreme Court heard oral arguments (hey, I don't write this stuff) Tuesday on whether a divorced father can have his 12-year-old son circumcised. The court, after a lingering on the topic, ruled Friday that the wishes of the 12-year-old boy should be considered in a dispute between his divorced parents. Now this is something that our over burdened court system really needs to be putting a lot of time and effort into, don't you think? What about the serious crimes like robbery? Rape? Murder? Heck no...foreskin!

The father, James Boldt, converted to Judaism in 2004 and wants the boy to be circumcised as part of the faith. The mother, Lia Boldt, appealed to the high court, saying the operation could harm her son physically and psychologically. The custody dispute began when the child was 4 and the circumcision issue began three years ago when he was 9. The custody dispute began when the child was 4 and the circumcision issue began three years ago when he was 9.

The attorney for both sides declined to comment. The case has drawn attention from Jewish groups concerned that the Oregon court might restrict the practice. A group called Doctors Opposing Circumcision backs the mother. The courts have steered clear of religious or medical issues, focusing on the questions of custody and care of the child. "I think what may be delicate and tricky is ... how much we can trust what the 12-year-old says, given the circumstances,'' said Carl Tobias of the University of Richmond. ``He likely feels some pressure from (his parents).''

More than a million U.S. infants are circumcised each year, but circumcising adults or teens remains relatively rare. A urologist who met with the boy submitted an affidavit that said the procedure would cause him minor discomfort for about three days but not interfere with his normal activities, the Supreme Court's decision said. I'm sure the kids reaction is going to be a little bit like this kid in the picture...and I think I'd want to be the first one to consult if they are going to chop a chunk off.

So why did this case ever come to trial. After a little bit of research, the truth comes out. Even the lawyers are overusing the court system. It seems that James Boldt, who is a lawyer, is representing himself in this case. Now it makes sense, don't you think? It interesting that the court wants the opinion of the kid in this case...but on the other hand, (or should I say "in the hand") as long as you don't beat your children with an electric cord in Oregon, they're pretty much your property as far as the law is concerned.

One Of Life's Lessons: Telling A Kid To Grow Up May Bite You In The Ass - Big Time!

2008-01-25T06:30:00.000-08:00

Technology will bite you in the ass. And now, even though it bit this lady big time, I agress with her sentiment. A phone call to a public school administrator's home last week about a snow day —- or lack of one —- has taken on a life of its own. Through the ubiquity of Facebook and YouTube, the call has become a rallying cry for students' First Amendment rights, and it shows the generation gap in technology. The phone call has gone viral all over the internet and now the kid who posted it is a little regretful about that. It seems the media has gone viral with their "need to know."

It started with a snowfall near Lake Braddock Secondary School in Burke, Va. On his lunch break, Lake Braddock senior Devraj "Dave" Kori, 17, used a listed home phone number to call Dean Tistadt, chief operating officer for the Fairfax County system, to ask why he had not closed the schools. Kori left his name and number and got a message later in the day from Tistadt's wife. "How dare you call us at home! If you have a problem with going to school, you do not call somebody's house and complain about it," Candy Tistadt's message began. At one point, she uttered the phrase "snotty-nosed little brats," and near the end, she said, "Get over it, kid, and go to school!" You have got to listen to this...

Dean Tistadt, the Chief Operating Officer for Facilities and Transportation of Fairfax County, has found it his responsibility to make the decisions about whether or not schools should remain open. Recently, due to the abnormal winter weather, the Tistadt household has found itself bombarded with dozens of phone calls from county students; some even in the middle of the night. In addition, students are also sending profane and sometimes even threatening emails to the administration. Fairfax County schools spokesman Paul Regnier said: "It's really an issue of kids learning what is acceptable and not acceptable. Any call to a public servant's house is harassment." Candy Tistadt did not return phone messages. Dean Tistadt credited Kori for having the "courage of his convictions to stand up and be identified" - and for causing considerable embarrassment for his wife.

Okay, so the lady went a little over the top. But the point that she was trying to make, maybe not in the most politically correct way, was great! It's about time that someone told these kids to grow up and get their buts back in school...learning their A-B-C's not texting RU@skool. We are raising a generation of mindless kids who can't talk a single sentence and that's a sad friggin' fact. And there's one more fact that's true to this story...it's the fact that they both had learned a hard lesson about the long reach of the Internet.

The Coffee Addiction: Starbucks And The $20,000 Cup Of Coffee!

2008-01-24T06:01:00.000-08:00

Are we in a recession? Now here's a trick. Get everyone thinking your company is being damaged by a recession, especially your new lower-income, striking writers customer group? If you've got all that and a falling stock, you must be Starbucks. Now I love Starbucks. Heck, I got over $300 in gift cards this Christmas! And now look at this new marketing idea being tested in Seattle...the dollar cup of coffee. Long an item found only on the "secret menu" (but for more than a buck), a short (or shall we say sipper eight ounce) it comes with free refills on all sizes of brewed coffee. Is it a smart move?

In a world where even the old-timers have stopped complaining about overpriced cups of coffee, showing up with a very low-priced entry level for a regular-sized dose of caffeine makes sense. Why not see McDonald's dollar menu, and raise Starbucks' own version? It's certain that the company won't lose money on the product; costs for traditional brewed coffee are the lowest of the bunch, and baristas often throw away large quantities of coffee because it's was brewed 6 hours ago. Is my favorite coffee company thinking outside-of-the-cup. With increasing competition Dunkin' Donuts, McDonald's and 7-11, it seems that Starbucks has no choice.

Now here's a little secret. Starbucks doesn't want you to know this but they will serve you a better, stronger cappuccino if you want one, and they will charge you less for it. Ask for it in any Starbucks and the barista will comply without batting an eye. The puzzle is to work out why. The drink in question is the elusive "short cappuccino", at 8 ounces, a third smaller than the smallest size on the official menu, the "tall." The short cappuccino has the same amount of espresso as the 12-ounce tall, meaning a bolder coffee taste, and also a better one. But why does this cheaper, better drink—along with its sisters, the short latte and the short coffee—languish unadvertised? The official line from Starbucks is that there is no room on the menu board. If you'd like a better coffee for less, just ask.

And speaking of coffee, you could just make a super expensive cup at home but you wouldn't get the flavor of the smelly homeless guy waiting in line and then stealing 6 cups to fill with non-fat milk and stealing about 25 Equal packets. By chance, or a tweak in the universe, the same day Starbucks testing a $1 cup of coffee, there was a debut of a $20,000 halogen-powered coffee maker –- described as looking like a “19th-century vision of the future.” With its brass-trimmed halogen heating elements, glass globes and bamboo paddles, this new contraption that is to begin making coffee this week looks like a machine from a Jules Verne novel, a 19th-century vision of the future. Called a siphon bar, it was imported from Japan at a total cost of more than $20,000. The cafe has the only halogen-powered model in the United States and professionals have long been willing to pay prices in the five figures for the perfect espresso machine, but the siphon bar does not make espresso. It makes brewed coffee! With recent advances in coffee-making technology, “now you can get perfect extraction.” Yeah, right. From your wallet I suppose! It's coffee people, not a BMW!

The bottom line is this. You can still score a free cup of dark roast from Dunkin Donuts stores on Mondays. The significance of all this latte-faire is that Starbucks is drawing competition from cheap McDonald and Dunkin’ coffees and that $20,000 Japanese (of course) coffee machine supposedly represents a resurgence in interest in brewed coffee among coffee mavens. Question? If, in Starbucks speak, a small is a “Tall,” and the new $1 cup is indeed shorter than the mysterious Starbucks “Short” cup, what is an even smaller cup called? I think they should call it the "weenie." That way we could have a good laugh about it. "Hey...can I get a little foam on my weenie?"

The Big Bad Hollywood Machine: It Munches You Up And Spits You Out!

2008-01-23T06:49:00.000-08:00

Are People Better Remembered If They Die Young? Do you think it has something to do with their life styles..or were they just unfortunate? The cliché "live fast, die young" According to a BBC report, performers were twice as likely as civilians to die young, with drug and alcohol problems accounting for a quarter of those deaths. The problem is that stars often spend the first years of their careers struggling to get by and then get everything really quickly. From Actors and actresses to high-profile rappers, it's a sad commentary on the Hollywood machine. Some die from sel-inflicted causes, other's a tragic natural experience. And this list just keeps going on...and on...and on...

And yesterday, it happened again. Heath Ledger, the talented 28-year-old actor who gravitated toward dark, brooding roles that defied his leading-man looks, was found dead Tuesday in a Manhattan apartment, facedown at the foot of his bed with prescription sleeping pills nearby, police said. There was no obvious indication that the Australian-born Ledger had committed suicide, but I'm sure something just wasn't right there. And the list goes on...and on...and on...and on...

Just look at this brief list. Brad Renfro, Kevin Dubrow, former lead singer of Quiet Riot, Anna Nicole Smith, Marilyn Monroe, R&B singer Aliyah, America's Prince, John F. Kennedy Jr. and his wife Carolyn Bessette-Kennedy, James Dean, John Denver, John Ritter, Notorious B.I.G, Chris Farley, Tupac Shakur, The Man of Steel, Christopher Reeve, Dana Reeve, Jimmy Hendrix, River Phoenix, Mitch Hedburg, Dana Plato, John Belushi, Kurt Cobain, Freddie Prinze, Princess Diana, Barbaro (hey, it's a horse but it died young!),Bruce Lee and his son Brandon Lee, Freddie Mercury, Michael Landon, Gianni Versace, Jayne Mansfield, Gilda Radner, Janis Joplin, and Selena, the popular Tejano singer, just to name a few.

And it seems when you get your star in the Hollywood machine, you get your obituary too! I read that the Associated Press has prepared an obituary for 26-year-old Britney Spears and has now put the spotlight on a debate transpiring within the business of reporting death: With people grabbing the celebrity spotlight at a younger age, and some of them living lives of obviously dangerous excess, is it time for news organizations to begin preparing for early exits from celebritydom's under-30 crowd? That's a sad commentary, hunh?

It's never been a secret that when people die after long or short, distinguished or undistinguished careers, detailed stories about their passing are produced almost instantaneously. Some in the Hollywood machine have actually turned their lives around. Robert Downey Jr. and Courtney Love as two prime examples of once troubled people who seem to have worked through their problems. But it's another sad day in Hollywood and I now ask myself how did Keith Richards would have outlasted John Denver or Michael Landon? It's unbelievable!

The Need For Speed: Let's Get This Guy Out Of Our Country - Fast!

2008-01-22T05:06:00.000-08:00

Bo Stefan Eriksson. Does that name ring a bell to you? Well this guy is the idiot who is behind bars in connection with a horrific vehicle crash on Pacific Coast Highway in Malibu - in which a $1 million Ferrari Enzo was going 199 miles per hour down PCH and -- with the exception of its passenger cabin -- disintegrated into thousands of pieces along Highway 1, isn't going to serve his jail time out here in the US but is about to be deported. A Swedish newspaper quoted Eriksson's wife Sunday as saying he had been transferred to the federal detention facility in Los Angeles Harbor on an immigration hold, and will be put on a plane to his native Sweden or Germany, where he also has a home.

"Don't take my picture, I'm with Homeland Security," Eriksson told a photographer from a Malibu newspaper. Eriksson and his passenger escaped injury, but blamed the crash on a mystery man named "Dietrich" who had supposedly run off into the hills. Sheriff's deputies doubted that story, but a search was made for Dietrich anyway, whom Eriksson blamed for the wreck. The Farrari was financed by British banks, but Eriksson reportedly did not make payments on it, and it was about to be repossessed when Eriksson destroyed it. Police in London said it was one of three high-end collectible cars that Eriksson had illegally had flown into Los Angeles in the cargo holds of Virgin Atlantic 747s.

Before he shattered a red Ferrari in Malibu and became grist for Internet legend, Bo Stefan Eriksson ran a criminal gang in Sweden, raced cars in Europe, skippered a yacht called Snow White and helped run a video game company with dreams of taking on Sony and Nintendo, according to police and bankruptcy investigators. Eriksson's rap sheet reads like the fading charisma of an athlete past his prime - but he was skilled at creating the aura of money and sinister chic. As an executive in Gizmondo Europe Ltd., a London-based company that developed a hand-held computer game that one industry writer described as having more gadgets than a Swiss Army knife. Gizmondo was abuzz with hype and promise. Gizmondo went bankrupt in January, amassing more than $300 million in debt in its three years of existence, according to corporate records.

As the company spiraled and unpaid bills lined up, Freer and Eriksson headed from Britain to Los Angeles, leaving a trail of private detectives, bodyguards, $1,500-a-day lap dancers and millions of dollars worth of homes, cars, diamond watches and other accouterments of those who get rich quick. The tempest around Gizmondo's slide intensified in February with Eriksson's spectacular 162-mph crash of a rare Enzo Ferrari on Pacific Coast Highway.

They called him Fat Stefan. In his home country, Eriksson both fascinated and frustrated the local police. He wasn't an ordinary thief. He'd drill holes through store walls to steal car parts. He was more imaginative than other thieves. Eriksson began constructing his own underworld. In 1988, Eriksson was convicted of possessing a shotgun and selling 10 small bags of cocaine. Swedish police sketched a flow chart of Eriksson's network that included investigations into drugs, robbery, extortion, counterfeiting, bank fraud, arms trading and contacts in Eastern and Western European criminal syndicates. His financial problems didn't stop its executives' buying sprees. Eriksson bought cars, watches, cocaine and often hired lap dancers from the Spearmint Rhino club in London, a former employee said. Eriksson, who authorities say misled U.S. immigration by not declaring that he was a felon, settled into a $3.6-million Bel-Air mansion.

They say that his deportation will come as soon as arrangements can be made, and is a result of his decision to voluntarily leave the United States. Why in hell's name should it be voluntary? How about mandatory? Why do we want an idiot like this in our country - free to do what he want's, when he want's and how he want's. I guess the old saying is true. Money can't buy you love but it can rent long-term happiness!

This Little Guy Proves That No Handicap Can Prevent You From Getting Your Move On!

2008-01-21T05:21:00.000-08:00

There are some things in life that just come naturally. Even if you're blind! Visitors can now see the Los Angeles Zoo's newest attraction, but he can't see them. It seems that a blind harbor seal named Alfred, which made its debut Friday, was rescued off the coast of New Jersey nearly a year ago iis adjusting to his new surroundings. He was placed among four female companions at the Sea Life Cliffs habitat near the zoo's entrance and it seems that he still can get his move on!

"He is displaying all the behaviors that we would see in a mating ritual," says zoo trainer Lauren Whittemore. "He is doing everything that he should be doing, so blindness doesn't seem to be affecting that part of nature." Zoo officials say Alfred, who is missing one eye and is blind in the other but otherwise healthy, uses the sensitive nerve endings in his whiskers to find his way around his new home. He weighed a mere 90 pounds when he was found last February, most likely because his blindness kept him from catching fish. He has since doubled in weight, but remains small - harbor seals often reach 300 pounds but the svelt Alfred isn't letting a little blindness stop him from gettin' some!

Due to his blindness Alfred was deemed as non-releasable. The staff of the Marine Mammal Center went about searching for a home for Alfred and found the Los Angeles Zoo in Griffith Park, where, after a quarantine and acclimation period, will make his homr with the four resident female harbor seals. The Zoo hopes to breed Alfred with the females as his blindness should not inhibit his ability to mate.

Welcome to LA Alfred. Just remember that some of the women out here are actresses and some of them you may not want to remember in the morning. But hey, you're blind. You don't have to worry 'bout whether she's a two-bagger or not! Just turn on that East Coast charm and do what comes, well, naturally! No eHarmony.com for you!

Housing Market Report: Need A Place To Live? How About Your Local Ikea?

2008-01-20T08:35:00.000-08:00

With the housing market falling like it is, some people may have to resort to living in some of the wackiest places they can find. I know that everytime I go to some furniture store and see a decked out room, I say to myself, "Boy, I wish I could like there." Well in Paramus, New Jersey, when Mark Malkoff, the audience coordinator on Comedy Central's "The Colbert Report," thought about where he could stay while his New York City apartment was being fumigated for cockroaches, he quickly ruled out friends' places (too small) and hotels (too expensive). Instead, he decided to move into an Ikea store where he unloaded two suitcases into a spacious bedroom at the store and made his new "home".

At night when the store is closed, he says he'll play laser tag with security guards and even plans to host a housewarming party. "The fact that Ikea is letting me do this is mind-boggling," said Malkoff, lounging on a bed in his new room. "There's no way I'm going back. I love this way too much." He is allowed to stay until Ikea closes at about midnight on Saturday; the store, famous for its low-cost do-it-yourself furniture, is closed on Sundays.

Malkoff, 31, is known for his 2007 video "171 Starbucks" which documents his visits to all of the coffee chain's Manhattan stores in a single day. Deputy store manager Julie Mott said Malkoff contacted the store about three weeks ago and presented a proposal to move in. "We thought it would be a lot of fun and interesting," Mott said. "We're not really sure what this week holds." He is being followed by a camera crew documenting his stay for a video, which will be shown on his Website.

But despite the hospitality, Malkoff did find a few problems: The sinks don't work, and neither does the toilet, refrigerator, flat-screen television or the washer and dryer. "Is anything real in this place?" he asked. He must shower in the staff locker room and will have access to the staff cafeteria to cook his own meals, if he chooses, Mott said. However, the Ikea display does offer more spacious living than his two-bedroom Queens apartment. "I feel like I'm on the set of 'Friends,"' he said, adding that he has met a few new faux friends - customers who wandered into his new apartment.

Maybe this guy has got something here. There are probably a few affected by the housing slump or the writers strike that may need a place to live. How about Levitz? Rent-A-Center (they got cool stuff). Maybe The Great Indoors...now that's posh. But there is one downside. Mark ain't gettin' any. His wife of 2 ½ years, isn't as thrilled with his new digs and has instead opted to stay with relatives in upstate New York. Hmm, for some reason she doesn't want to live in a store. Security cams Mark! Security cams!

Kinoki: Translated To English It Really Means Socks!

2008-01-19T06:02:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I learned something. I've got toxins! Holy crap! But then, I found this solution on TV and it seems easy to get rid of them. If you've seen the TV commercials for Kinoki Detox Foot Pads, you are probably wondering if they really work. Can you detox with foot pad? If this detox method is so natural and simple and works so well, as the company claims, why are we only hearing about it now? The consumer verdict is in, and it's not good for Kinoki. Besides. what "toxins" are supposedly removed by these things? How do you know you have these "toxins"? How can you be sure these foot pads are only removing "toxins" and not essential chemical compounds? Read on...

The number one reason consumers are questioning the effectiveness of the Kinoki Detox Foot Pads is because the product sounds too good to be true. Who wouldn't want to detox while they sleep? The product also claims to be able to help anyone suffering from headaches (Advil works), backaches (Aspirin works), depression (Alcohol works), fatigue (Sugar works), insomnia (A hammer works), or a weak immune system (and we know that how?). By claiming to help with such a broad spectrum of ailments the Kinoki Detox Foot Pads commercial is appealing to a large group of stupid consumers.

Although it is possible to find positive reviews of the Kinoki Detox Foot Pads among the unhappy consumers, the positive reviews read more like company-paid testimonials than actual consumer comments. On one of the forums a guy commented, "I used to live in Japan and I had never seen anyone use or talk about these things. There is something similar but not the same, this is strange since the commercials state that they are from Japan." According to the Public Health Forums, only 28 people said Kinoki has helped them, while 79 People said Kinoki has not helped them. But hey, you're feet do get clean!

I found one testimonial thought from this guy here who says, “I have only used your foot pads for a couple of days, but you can definitely consider me a satisfied customer. I feel more alert, more energetic, and better able to handle my hectic life. You are offering a fantastic product at a very reasonable price.”

According to reports, too many consumers who have tried to cancel the product have not been able to do so directly through the company that sells the Kinoki Detox Foot Pads. A company quickly develops a bad reputation when consumers have to resort to canceling payment through their banks, as has been happening with the company that sells Kinoki Detox Foot Pads. Whether or not the Kinoki Detox Foot Pads work for some consumers and not others becomes irrelevant when a company that promises a money-back guarantee does not follow through on that guarantee. If you are willing to try Kinoki Detox Foot Pads and spend $20 or $13 a month, knowing that the system may not work for you, and you will not be able to cancel your future orders, then proceed with your online purchase.

So folks. I think the verdict is in. And we here at Discover Insanity have found the answer for you. It fast, safe, effective and they are available in bulk from your favorite Wal-Mart or Costco. And what are these miracle products that will help you with this serious toxin problem. Socks! Now that was easy!

Presidential Election 2008: If You Don't Get Off Your Ass, One Of These Candidates Could Be Running The Country!

2008-01-18T05:36:00.000-08:00

How much do we really know about the top 2008 Presidential candidates? Our democracy is in a dangerous state. What used to be healthy competition between Republicans and Democrats has descended into bitter tribalism as ideology and partisanship rule the day. America is a deeply divided country...locked in a bitter culture war, pitting secular liberals against religious conservatives. Conservative, liberal and a few radical activists are the ones who set the tone and define the rhetoric of our political parties. Sure, we hear the rhetoric from Hillary, Fred, Huckleberry Hound and Obama. But who are the real candidates who don't get on the YouTube debates? Well, if you're wondering - like I was - check out some of the unique (putting it mildly) candidates vying for you vote this November.

Here's one for ya. Candidate Jackson Grimes of the United Fascist Union considers himself a pagan and claims to have played Adolf Hitler on an episode of "Star Trek." He has also called for the impeachment of President Bush. Sometime you really wonder how in hell's name they got out from under their rock. But hey, he's got a stand. For what? Just look at him and figure it out! He's on the United Fascist Union party ticket, who ran in the 1996 to 2004 US presidential elections and is running for the 2008 election. He claimed to achieve "6th place" in the 2000 presidential election. His campaigns platform includes abolishing Christianity and replacing it with classical Roman Paganism fused with the political system of Fascist Italy. He openly opposed the Nazi style of fascism, but claimed to support a society based around white European culture. His platform? "The ideologies of Mussolini and Saddam Hussein."

Jonathon "The Impaler" Sharkey is a self-proclaimed satanist, Hecate Witch and professional boxer as well as wrestler and a perennial candidate for public office. Sharkey lived for a time in Florida under his wrestling name of Rocky Hurricane Flash. While there, he also used the assumed name Kathleen Sharkey and claimed that this Kathleen Sharkey was either his half-sister or his wife. It has been suggested instead that he attempted to fake his own death. The Vampires, Witches, and Pagans Party was founded by Sharkey in 2005 and yes, it is officially recognized by United States Federal Election Committee, although there is little evidence of any membership or activity other than two persons...one of them Sharkey!

If you're a supporter of the ACLU, Larry Craig, and the rights of those who use our public restrooms for things other than taking a pee, then Bennie Lee 'Ben' Ferguson can appeal to both men AND women. This candidate served as Chairman of the Log Cabin Republican Committee from 2000 to 2002. I'm not sure if the Log Cabin party referrs to what the maple syrup of what he does with his "expectation of privacy!

Remember Pat Paulsen? The long time presidential candidate and political pundit? Well, he's running. Sort of. As the November 2008 election nears, a series of strange incidents involving Mr. Paulsen, or his likeness, have been reported throughout the country. Paulsen, who allegedly passed away in April 1997, was known for his many runs for the presidency. Dozens of other people have reported sightings or visitations, and Paulsen’s website, which is currently being run by his wife, Noma, has been inundated with such accounts and frequent bumper sticker requests. Official news related to Pat’s recent sightings and information about the write-in campaigns can be found on Paulsen’s website. at: http://www.paulsen.com

Now here's someone to give Hillary a run for her money. Both on her political position and her looks! But don't let Christina Gerasimos Billings-Elias' wedding photo throw you off. According to her site, she's also a princess and was apparently "born to be President of Our America" as it was proclaimed by both Franklin and Eleanor Roosevelt. She even kind of looks like how Eleanor would look if she were alive today...after being dead for a long, long time!

Now here's a guy who's got a real platform. Terry Barkdull is called Tee by his friends. He says he's got enough education to run this country. beacuse he don't think it takes a Rocket Scientist to run this Country. His website says, "There are a few things I won't do to the American people and that is, I won't lie to you to start wars or say I've smoke dope by didn't inhale. I didn't go to Canada when my Country needed me or go to college to get out of the draft. I won't be intimidated by people when I make a decision. I consider myself to be a very 'INTELLIGENT' individual. I know what this Country needs. What's needed now, is New blood, New thoughts, New ideas and enough courage to take a stand and try to make a difference for a better America, and not to just fill the their greedy little pockets by raping the American tax payers. You go Tee, you go!

Here's a guy who looks like almost every retired guy in Florida. Albert 'Big Al' Hamburg Sr. ran for the White House in 2004 and has been on the campaign trail since 1972. He once referred to himself as a very independent UNPOPULAR candidate. (Hamberg was also taking his campaign photographs in a Nazi helmet at the time.) According to Radar Magazine, his platform includes "mandatory sterilization of drunks, illegal aliens, and the mentally retarded... and the seizure of all incomes over $1 million."

This candidate simply refers to himself as "Watchman the Branch." I could not find any political information on him at all. None. Nada. Zip. But I found his picture. And he looks like one wierd cookie. And you know what, if you look him up you get a bund of crap on the Branch Davidian cult. Hmmmmm.

And finally, there is Mitsuo Matayoshi, an eccentric Japanese politician, self-styled as "The only God Mitsuo Matayoshi Jesus Christ". After a life of preacher he has developed a particular concepts of Christianity, strongly influenced by Eschatology. In 1997 He established the World Economic Community Party based on his conviction that he is the God and Christ. According to his program, he will do the Last Judgement as the Christ but the way to do this is totally within the current political system and its legitimacy. Matayoshi Jesus will reign over the whole world with two legitimate authorities, not only religious but also political. He has presented himself in many elections but he has not won yet. He has become well-known for his eccentric campaigns where he urges opponents to commit suicide by hara-kiri (disembowelment, note that he avoids the more polite seppuku) and says that he will cast them into Gehenna. Like most Japanese politicians, he campaigns in a single small regulation size mini-van fitted with oversized loudspeakers. I think I've seen him in Hollywood!

So you see, we've got some great up and coming candidates. They all want change. If I hear this word 'change' one more time, I'm going to change the channel. There's an all-out war between red and blue, but the bigger news is about the forgotten middle. These eccentrics lack power and influence, but they've got the numbers. Put another way, America has spawned a new silent majority. With these guys running, we better pay attention. Voter apathy is no longer an option. The stakes are too high. So get off your ass and vote on Election Day!

Thank God There Are Organizations Like This Protecting My Rights In Public Restrooms!

2008-01-17T06:21:00.000-08:00

One of my favorite organizations in the whole friggin' world, an organization that is out there fighting for my rights as a citizen to practice sexual activity that should only be allowed in a jail cell with a cellmate named Bubba, an organization who cares more about what's right than decent and morally correct, an organization who has gone to great lengths to scare the hell out of good, every day god-fearing individuals, has done it again. Oh, thank heaven. Yes folks, that's right. These incredibly good people who have way to much time on their hands to worry about real civil rights issues, and in an effort to help Sen. Larry Craig and get some lobbying support in congress, yes, the American Civil Liberties Union is arguing that people who have sex in public bathrooms have an expectation of privacy. I am so proud!

The ACLU filed a brief Tuesday supporting Craig. It cited a Minnesota Supreme Court ruling 38 years ago that found that people who have sex in closed stalls in public restrooms "have a reasonable expectation of privacy." Craig, of Idaho, is asking the Minnesota Court of Appeals to let him withdraw (I didn't write this) his guilty plea to disorderly conduct stemming from a bathroom sex sting at the Minneapolis airport. The ACLU argued that even if Craig was inviting the officer to have sex, his actions wouldn't be illegal because hey, he needed to get his rocks off in a public restroom!

Now here's an issue that the ACLU should really look into. This issue is definitely a personal invasion of more than your privacy. In New York, a construction worker claimed in a lawsuit claiming that when he went to a hospital after being hit on the forehead by a falling wooden beam, emergency room staffers forcibly gave him a rectal examination. Yeow! I just hope he wasn't going into the emergency Room for a slight case of food poisening or the flu!

Brian Persaud, 38, says in court papers that after he denied a request by New York-Presbyterian Hospital emergency room employees to examine his rectum, he was "assaulted, battered and falsely imprisoned." His lawyer, Gerrard M. Marrone, said he and Persaud later learned the exam was one way of determining whether he had suffered spinal damage in the accident. Then, Marrone said, emergency room staffers insisted on examining his rectum and held him down while he begged, "Please don't do that." He said Persaud hit a doctor while flailing around and staffers gave him an injection, which knocked him out, and performed the rectal exam. Persaud got eight stitches for a cut over his eyebrow and woke up handcuffed to a bed and with an oxygen tube down his throat, his lawyer said, and spent three days in a detention center. Persaud's lawsuit, filed in Manhattan's state Supreme Court, seeks unspecified damages. A judge dismissed a misdemeanor assault charge against him.

By the way, the picture is not of Mr. Persaud...just another guy who would be shocked if he got an ACLU unprotected rectal exam!

So where was the ACLU on this one? I think more than his privacy rights were invaded. But hey, maybe this guy is "good to go" and utilize the rights defended in the other story. Hmmm. And in the Larry Craig story, which we are so tired of hearing about, the ACLU argued that even if he was inviting the officer to have sex, his actions wouldn't be illegal. Not even immoral. Or disgusting. Just 100% totally legal! Thank you ACLU!

Need A Laugh Today? We're Out Here Dangling Our Participle!

2008-01-16T05:23:00.000-08:00

Humor or as the Frnech put it, Humour, is the ability or quality of people, objects, or situations to evoke feelings of amusement in other people. It's a form of entertainment which makes people laugh or feel happy. The ability to experience humour, a quality which all people share although some people really have got a stick up their butt, and the extent to which an individual will personally find something humorous depends on a host of variables, including location, culture, maturity, level of education, intelligence, and context. Satire may rely more on understanding the target of the humor, and thus tends to appeal to more mature audiences and is the point of Discover Insanity's look at the world. So today, we've got some questions for you to ponder and a law, well, you're just not going to believe! Read on...

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, “I think I’ll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?”

Who was the first person to say “See that chicken there….I’m gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it’s butt.”

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

If the professor on Gilligan’s Island can make a radio out of coconut, why can’t he fix a hole in a boat?

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don’t point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They’re both dogs!

What do you call male ballerinas?

Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream??

If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap,why didn’t he just buy dinner?

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Isn’t Disney World just a people trap operated by a mouse?

Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

Why do they call it an asteroid when it’s outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it’s in your ass?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog’s face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he can’t wait to stick his head out the window into the wind?

Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, “I think I’ll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?”

And finally, speaking of dangly things and to give you just one more chuckle, comes this new law from the Virginia legislature has some experience with offbeat bills. It's one thing to dangle fuzzy dice from a rear view mirror, but decorating a trailer hitch with a large pair of rubber testicles might be a bit much in Virginia.State Del. Lionel Spruill introduced a bill Tuesday to ban displaying replicas of human genitalia on vehicles, calling it a safety issue because it could distract other drivers...but I don't think it'll be male ones! Under his measure, displaying the ornamentation on a motor vehicle would be a misdemeanor punishable by a maximum fine of $250. Spruill said he won't hesitate to bring a set of $24.95 trailer testicles with him for a legislative show-and-tell. "I'm going to do it," he told a handful of reporters after Tuesday's House session adjourned. "I'm going to bring them out here and show them to you till they tell me to stop."

How that for a legislator with some "balls"? I haven't seen any of these things out here in California, but I'm sure they are soon to come. They say that laughter is the best medicine and I hope today's episode of Discover Insanity gave you a chuckle or two. If not, I'm sure it had to make you think just a bit, right?

When Will I Die? The Internet Will Help You Find That Out!

2008-01-15T05:44:00.000-08:00

Death is the end of the life. Death is inevitable, and permanent; that is, all living things eventually die, and once a living thing dies it cannot return to a state of living. The principal causes of human death are diseases related to aging. Of course, the life path we choose can help to quicken it to lengthen it. In medicine, biological details and definitions of death have become increasingly complicated as technology advances. So we need a little help determining our lifespan since that figure seems to be changing every other day. Do you want to know when you will eventually lead to your demise? Well help has arrived via the internet.

Just surfing around this morning I came across a blog or two that had these death clocks and death calculators. Now, I'm sure they are not based on any scientific principle but hey, they were a lot of fun to play with. Do I eat my veggies? Do I drink too much? Is smoking two-packs a day really going to kill me faster? What are the chances I'll get hit by some bimbo driving at 60 miles-per-hour on her cellphone while I'm in the crosswalk at The Grove? These are questions to ponder. And now, thanks to the technology of the Internet, I know the date of my death, the location and the possible causes. How fun, hunh? If you click here you will go to a website called Day4Death which will give you a short quiz and then calculate your death statistics. Here's how I came out...

Well, I'm looking forward to September 18, 2044. It should be an interesting day. Makes me wonder what changes I can make to extend that number. You can play with this stuff all you like but one fact is true. We are all going to die. They say that death is the end of life. Or is it just the beginning? You decide!

If you want to make your own tombstone, click here! It's Fun!

The Politics Of Sex: Let's Stop Arguing And Hit The Rack!

2008-01-14T05:16:00.000-08:00

Democrats and Republicans may not be as divided by their sexual habits as their voting habits.I always thought that Republicans only have sex when required by party leaders. Social and cultural issues still divide us by gender, age and race, but on that most intimate of personal issues we are surprisingly and sexually united. But in how we live our life, what we want for the future and what we do behind closed bedroom doors, we're all a lot more alike than you may think...although I don't think I'm gonna be knockin' boots with Hillary anytime soon!

Today in America there may seem to be little or no consensus on matters of policy or politics. But according to the results of Playboy's 'Politics of Sex' survey by Frank Luntz, all you have to do is change the subject from what happens on Capitol Hill to what happens between the sheets, and the political chasm is bridged by unexpectedly similar sexual views," said Luntz in the magazine's February issue. Playboy magazine conducted a nationwide survey on the "politics of sex" and found that voters in both blue states and red states "are surprisingly united when it comes to sexual matters, and there is less separation in the bedroom than originally thought."

The survey of 900 registered U.S. voters found 25 percent of all Republicans and 35 percent of all Democrats have had more than 10 sexual partners in their lifetime. Republicans say they were 18.4 years old when they first had sex, Independents say 17.6 and Democrats say 17.5. Fifty-five percent of people who attend church every week consider themselves to be "sexually adventurous," while 51 percent of Republicans and 67 percent of Democrats have watched pornography with their sexual partners. Americans belonging to both parties say they are more turned on by intelligence than by physical appearance, yet 23 percent of all Republicans and 24 percent of all Democrats would "definitely" or "probably" say yes to a one-night stand in the oval office with a president they found physically and sexually attractive.

Obviously sex appeal never hurts a candidate. Some say John and Bobby Kennedy, Bill Clinton and, this year, John Edwards and Barack Obama owe their popularity to an appeal far more basic than their positions on nuclear nonproliferation. No woman at the center of public life has been able to strike a chord in quite the same way. 58% of respondents think Bill Clinton was the sexiest president of the past 40 years. Ronald Reagan is second, with 22%. 38% say Richard Nixon was the least sexy; Bill Clinton is second, with 18%.

Here are a few choice examples of sex survey questions and results from the Playboy Sex in America survey.

Q. Which of these candidates do you think is most likely to talk dirty in bed?

None of them - 37.0%
Hillary Clinton - 19.8%
Rudy Giuliani - 16.5%
Barack Obama - 7.6%
Fred Thompson - 4.4%
John Edwards - 4.0%
Mitt Romney - 2.9%
John McCain - 2.4%
Dennis Kucinich - 1.7%
Joe Biden - 1.0%
Mike Huckabee - 1.0%
Chris Dodd - 0.9%
Ron Paul - 0.5%
Bill Richardson - 0.3%

Q. Regardless of whom you'd vote for or your political affiliation, who do you think has been the sexiest president of the past 40 years?

Bill Clinton - 58.8%
Ronald Reagan - 21.7%
George W. Bush - 7.4%
Jimmy Carter - 5.6%
Gerald Ford - 2.7%
Richard Nixon - 2.2%
George Herbert Walker Bush - 1.5%

Q. And who do you think was the least sexy president of the past 40 years?

Richard Nixon - 38.0%
Bill Clinton - 17.4%
George W. Bush - 13.7%
Jimmy Carter - 11.3%
George Herbert Walker Bush - 8.0%
Ronald Reagan - 6.7%
Gerald Ford - 4.8%

Q. Who is the sexiest woman in politics?

Michelle Obama - 19.7%
Condoleezza Rice - 17.5%
Laura Bush - 16.3%
Hillary Clinton - 14.0%
Jeri Thompson - 9.6%
Elizabeth Edwards - 9.4%
Judith Giuliani - 6.3%
Nancy Pelosi - 5.7%
Barbara Boxer - 1.6%

Q. Generally speaking, who do you think is better in bed (or has a better sex life)?

Independents - 45.5%
Democrats - 36.0%
Republicans - 18.4%

Q. Who do you think has to pay for sex more often?

Republicans - 57.3%
Democrats - 32.7%
Independents - 10.1%

Q. And do you view political power as a sexual turn-on?

No - 83.6%
Yes - 16.4%

At the end of the day significant differences on major issues remain. From Iraq to immigration, we are a highly polarized and very argumentative nation. 25% of Obama supporters say the sexiest part of the female body is the butt. Only 14% of Giuliani and 11% of Clinton supporters agree. The Politics of Sex poll proves the disparity is far smaller than our perception of it. The lines between black and white are becoming gray as fast as the lines between red and blue are turning purple. Now wouldn't this be a great topic for a YouTube debate?

A Legend In Business And A Legend In Life Passes On

2008-01-13T06:07:00.000-08:00

A couple of days ago, it was Johnny Grant. It's weird how we lose legends "in threes" as most people say. And on Friday, we lost another one. Carl Karcher, who turned a lone hot dog cart in Los Angeles into the Carl's Jr. fast-food chain, died Friday just five days short of what would have been his 91st birthday. I met him many years ago while working on a video shoot her in LA and he was one of the nicest and gracious gentleman I've ever met. Sadly, Karcher was suffering from Parkinson's disease-related pneumonia.

Carl was an icon in the business world. Born in Sandusky, Ohio, Karcher left school during the eighth grade to help on the family farm. In 1939, he moved to Anaheim where his uncle ran a small business. Two years later, Karcher and his wife Margaret, started their first business, a hot dog cart, in Los Angeles, borrowing $311 against their Plymouth and adding the $15 from Margaret's purse. In 1945, the Karchers opened their first full-service restaurant, Carl's Drive-In Barbecue in Anaheim.

In 1966, the company incorporated as Carl Karcher Enterprises. By 1974, Carl's Jr. had grown to 100 restaurants and 300 by 1981, the year the company first offered stock publicly. In 1994, stockholders approved a change of the structure of the company to include a new parent company, CKE Restaurants. The business that began with that first hot dog cart has grown to include more than 3,000 restaurants, and 30,000 employees worldwide. CKE Restaurants, Inc., through its subsidiaries, had a total of 3,036 franchised or company-operated restaurants in 43 states and in 13 countries, including 1,121 Carl's Jr.® restaurants, 1,915 Hardee's® restaurants. Karcher had long served as his company's chairman and chief executive officer, retiring as chairman emeritus in 2004 because of poor health.

He touched countless lives through his generosity as a business leader and philanthropist and his legacy will most certainly live on. On the Carl's Jr. website, they posted this video tribute to their founder and friend and because he touched my life in just a small way, I had to post it here. Karcher is survived by 11 of his children, 51 grandchildren and 45 great-grandchildren. Karcher's wife died in June 2006 of liver cancer.

Carl was an active supporter and board member of many non-profit groups and encouraged community involvement within the company he founded. He chaired the 1978 and 1979 Orange County United Way campaign and raised more than $18 million. He and his wife Margaret generously and enthusiastically contributed to many organizations, and were long-time supporters of such groups as Providence Speech and Hearing Center and Lestonnac Free Clinic.

Well, another legend is gone. I'll always remember that day I met him when he gave me a couple of cards for a free Lucky Star hamburger and a piece of the Berlin Wall. Carl had just returned from a trip to Berlin to see the torn down wall and gave out entire crew these little pieces of the wall. He was proud of that moment. He'll surely be missed but every time I have a Lucky Star, I'll definitely remember that special day.

MGO: It Seems There's Nothing We Can't Talk About Anymore And Then Comes A Company To Solve Our Problem With It

2008-01-12T07:54:00.000-08:00

At Discover Insanity, we ask the tough questions. And today, even though it may be uncomfortable, we've got to know. Have you ever asked yourself, "Why is it that no matter how much time and effort I put into washing my penis in the shower, I still get that awful whiff of a rancid smell throughout the day, or even right after a shower?" Well folks, your wait is over and don't worry, you are not alone. Finally, there is a solution. NodorO™ is a safe and effective medicated cream developed to specifically created to destroy and prevent MGO (Male Genital Odors) and it can be obtained online. Let's be honest, unpleasant smells are a turn off for anyone, and the last thing you want is for a fishy smell to be coming from your own penis. Sex can offer you some of the best and most intense moments in your life. But unpleasant odors can ruin your sex life and potentially your relationships. Now that NodorO™ is proudly manufactured in the United-States in compliance with the FDA’s GMP (Good Manufacturing Practice) regulations You too, will soon be able to say: "I SMELL PERFECT!". But the odds of you getting a chick like this picture: NADA!

President/CEO of Synerfied Healthcare and NodorO™ creator Dominic Adams recently launched his new product on January 4th, 2008. I was shocked the other night when NodorO™ was being discussed on the Late Show with David Letterman. According to Stern, this company is one of his Sirius radio show sponsors! In fact, he even gave a tube to Dave! In a press release, Adams says, "It is very much like a dream come true. This is the ultimate promotion scenario imaginable. Let's recap: Less than a week after the launch, Howard Stern goes on the Late Show with David Letterman, and introduces NodorO™ to the world. Oh, and by the way... He did it on his own. It doesn't get better than this!" says Adams with excitement.

But it comes with a warning or two. There is a possibility that it may damage latex condoms and diaphragms. The effectiveness of these contraceptives may consequently be reduced, so you should use alternative contraceptive precautions for at least 5 days after using this product. I think you may want to triple up on the rubber thing. And you also may be limited to getting a nooner in the front seat of your car because according to the manufacturer NodorO™ SHOULD NEVER BE INGESTED UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES. If you suspect that NodorO™ has been ingested, contact an emergency room or a poison control center. How would you explain that one to nurse Kratchett?

Having such problem is very embarrassing. This subject has been taboo for the longest time. Now that NodorO™ is available, and we know know it's OK to discuss MGO, it may rejuvenate many couple's sex lives. Or it may wending up geting you a screaming little brat or bit o' 'splainin' to do at a hospital. I just love marketing and the company's slogan. "Lose the odor, keep your lover. NodorO, get some™". I got a better one though. "Lose the scum, maybe you'll get some!" Let's see what slogans you can come up with!

The Insane Price Of Pain And Suffering

2008-01-11T04:36:00.000-08:00

Frivolous lawsuits. They suck. People are greedy beyond what I have ever imagined. And we wonder why our country and society is the way it is. Well, Hurricane Katrina's victims have put a price tag on their suffering and it is staggering - including one plaintiff seeking the unlikely and totally insane sum of over $3 quadrillion. That's the mother of all high numbers!

A whopping $3,014,170,389,176,410 is the dollar figure so far sought from some of the largest claims filed against the federal government over damage from the failure of levees and flood walls following the Aug. 29, 2005, hurricane. Of roughly 489,000 total claims, the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers said it has received 247 for at least $1 billion apiece, including the one for $3 quadrillion. For the sake of perspective: A mere $1 quadrillion would dwarf the U.S. gross domestic product, which Scott said was $13.2 trillion in 2007. A stack of one quadrillion pennies would reach Saturn.

Some residents may have grossly exaggerated their claims to send a message to the corps, which has accepted blame for poorly designing the failed levees. The corps released zip codes, but no names, for the 247 claims of at least $1 billion. The list includes a $77 billion claim by the city of New Orleans. Fourteen involve a wrongful death claim. Fifteen were filed by businesses, including several insurance companies.

Little is known about the person who claimed $3 quadrillion. It was filed in Baker, 93 miles northwest of New Orleans. Baker is far from the epicenter of Katrina's destruction, but the city has a trailer park where hundreds of evacuees have lived since the storm. And heck, you know what a trailer costs nowadays. If we calculate in the actual cost, plus the time it takes to find one that will not withstand the next big storm, plus the pain and suffering of having to live in a trailer, plus the amount of beer and fried prok skins that are necessary for the person to achieve a full emoitional recovery, I'd say the figure is around $1.23 million. And that depends on if its a beer-drinkin' or moonshine-drinkin' family!

This is what gets me about these lawsuits. I understand the anger. I understand it's a negotiating tactic. There's no easy way on earth you can figure out or calculate the personal loss. The trauma these people have undergone is unlike anything that has occurred in the history of our country. But guess what. It will happen again. And if we continue to let crappy lawsuits like this affect our justice system, it will eventually grind to a halt...not just a slow-down like we're seeing today. Welcome to our world...you've just Discovered Insanity!

The Most Recognizable Face In Hollywood Is Gone!

2008-01-10T05:53:00.000-08:00

Hollywood. To many it's glitz, glamour and sucess. A place filled with wanna-be actors trying to get their big break. A city with no actual mayor. But Hollywood does have a mayor albeit an honorary one. And yesterday, that Mayor who is one of the most recognizable faces in Hollywood, has died. Yes, Johnny Grant, Hollywood's honorary mayor, longtime producer of the Hollywood Christmas Parade and broadcasting pioneer, died Wednesday, according to Los Angeles police. "Johnny Grant was Hollywood's greatest star," Councilman Eric Garcetti said. "He brought Hollywood the industry and Hollywood the neighborhood together."

Grant died at his penthouse apartment in the Hollywood Roosevelt Hotel. He been one of Hollywood's most enthusiastic supporters for more than 50 years. Grant most recently was head of the Hollywood Walk of Fame committee, which determines star nomination selections. As honorary mayor, Grant presided over many unveilings of stars on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, the last coming Friday for the late actress Elizabeth Montgomery.The Academy Of Television Arts And Sciences paid tribute to grant in 1988 -- awarding him the highest honor of the governor's award. Grant also served for 20 years as the producer of the Hollywood Christmas parade.

Grant is believed to have made the most overseas tours to entertain U.S. troops, 60, with the final one coming last month to Guantanamo Bay, Cuba. "The USO and military has been a big part of my life, ever since WWII, when as a GI, I emceed a show and introduced Bob Hope," Grant said before leaving for Cuba. "He encouraged me to come to Hollywood when the war was over. Hope gave me the combination to the joke file lock and sent me to March Field to stand in for him 55 years ago, and I haven't stopped since."

So today is a sad day. We lost another legend. Johnny grant got two stars in Hollywood and a street named for him. He defined class and commitment to his craft and the entertainment industry. We will miss him when celebs get their stars on the Walk of Fame and every Hollywood Christmas Parade. He not only helped usher in Hollywood's first golden age, and will be surely missed. Goodbye Johnny and Godspeed!

The New Face Or Body Of Politics

2008-01-09T05:49:00.000-08:00

Okay, so Hillary won in New Hampshire. Who cares? In Oregon, Mayor Carmen Kontur-Gronquist's name is sure to be mentioned when Arlington holds its annual town meeting Wednesday. Some of the mayor's roughly 500 constituents will want to know her views on the issues affecting the Eastern Oregon community; others will want to talk about her underwear. I don't think anyone is going to wonder about Hillary's!

The mayor's lingerie is a hot topic up there, with some residents upset that she posted pictures of herself wearing only a black bra and panties on her MySpace page. She was on one of the town's fire engines. Kontur-Gronquist's MySpace page is blocked to all but her friends, but the pictures were at one time available to all users. The mayor said she did nothing wrong and those who are offended need to get over it.

"That's my personal life," she said. "It has nothing to do with my mayor's position." Kontur-Gronquist, who is also the fire department's executive secretary, said the photos were taken before she was elected mayor three years ago, and she saw no reason to remove them from the Internet after taking office. "I'm not going to change who I am," she said. "There's a lot of officials that have a personal life, and you have people in this community who have nothing better to do than scrape up stuff like this." Some residents said they were starting a recall petition, saying the photos are inappropriate and send the wrong message to kids.

Some say the photos of a scantily clad mayor reflect badly on Arlington.Councilman Jeff Bufton said he's heard a lot of negative comments about the pictures but declined to say whether the council plans to address the topic. In fact, I think ol' Jeffy boy is trying to get on Carmen's friends list. Hey, when you're in the political area, you've got to use the internet. Let's just hope Ms. Clinton doesn't get any ideas or I'll be the one crying!

School Daze: Reading, Writing, And Molestation

2008-01-08T05:26:00.000-08:00

It used to be that you'd go to school and fear the dreaded math test. Nowadays, it seems you must fear the dreaded math teacher! Most of the time, as we see in the media, molesters are men. Hence, the "Chester the Molester" title. But it seems that quite a few women in our educational system are becoming the molesters. We had the teacher and student who had a baby and couldn't keep apart from each other. We had a teacher in Albany, NY (my hometown) who only got caught because a girl told authorities because the guy was bragging about it. And today, we have this story of our first female "Chester the Molester."

From Pittsburgh comes this story of Beth Ann Chester (yes, that's her name), a teacher in the Moon Area School District (yes, that's her school district), who has admitted to having sexual intercourse with a 14-year-old student. Ms. Chester, the molester, is scheduled to have a preliminary hearing tomorrow on nine charges that she sent lewd text messages and nude photos of herself to the boy. Moon police Chief Leo McCarthy said today at least one additional charge of sexual assault will made against Ms. Chester when she appears for her preliminary hearing. "She waived her Miranda rights and admitted to having sexual intercourse with the boy in her car," Chief McCarthy said in an interview this morning.

Moon Detectives were trying to determine the date that the sexual encounter happened in a school parking lot after an activity. I'm sure they are probably looking for a video! Hey guys, check YouTube! The boy told police he thought he was in love with Chester and the only physical contact involved a hug just before holiday break, according to the police affidavit filed to support the criminal charges. Jack Cambest, Moon's solicitor, said the matter is being handled by police and that the district will notify the state Department of Education this week, which is required by state law.

Hearing this story, it's no wonder a 10-year-old Mexican boy who used industrial strength shoe glue he used to stick his hand to his bed's metal headboard, where he stayed stuck for two hours to avoid going back to school after the Christmas break. The kid even said, "I thought if I was glued to the bed, they couldn't make me go to school." And you wonder why? Hmmmm.

Study Finds That Like Humans, Some Monkeys 'Pay' For Sex

2008-01-07T03:59:00.000-08:00

The current theory of evolution states that we have evolved from primates has finally been proven. Yes, that's right. Proven. Beyond a shadow of doubt. Dr. Michael Gumert completed his fieldwork in February 2005 and first published his findings in the November issue of "Animal Behaviour," a scientific monthly journal. His theory matches that exactly as the human species: Male macaque monkeys pay for sex by grooming females, suggesting the primates may treat sex as a commodity.

"In primate societies, grooming is the underlying fabric of it all," Gumert syas. "It's a sign of friendship and family, and it's also something that can be exchanged for sexual services." Gumert's findings, reported in New Scientist last week, resulted from a 20-month observation of about 50 long-tailed macaques in a reserve in Central Kalimantan, Indonesia. Gumert found after a male grooms a female, the likelihood that she will engage in sexual activity with the male was about three times more than if the grooming had not occurred.

And as with other commodities, the value of sex is affected by supply and demand factors: A male would spend more time grooming a female if there were fewer females in the vicinity. "And when the female supply is higher, the male spends less time on grooming ... The mating actually becomes cheaper depending on the market," Gumert said. Kind of like going from Sunset Blvd. to Santa Monica. Remember Hugh Grant?

Other experts not involved in the study welcomed Gumert's research, saying it was a major effort in systematically studying the interaction of organisms in ways in which an exchange of commodities or services can be observed - a theory known as biological markets. "It is not a rare phenomenon in nature that males have to make some 'mating effort' in order to get a female's 'permission' to mate," Hammerstein said in an interview, likening the effort to a "fee" that the male pays.

The interesting result of Dr. Gumert's research on macaque mating is that the mating market seems to have an influence on the amount of the fee. His findings indicate the monkeys are capable of adjusting their behavior to "different market conditions." Kind of like human nature, hunh? We always end up paying for it...somehow. Eeery!

It's Sunday So Be Lazy! And You Don't Need A Museum To Show You How!

2008-01-06T05:49:00.000-08:00

I suppose that lazy people may be getting the most out of life, but it's hard for me to imagine how. In Colombia's capital, Bogota, a museum has opened an exhibit which features sofas placed in front of televisions, hammocks and beds - anything associated with the avoidance of work. The idea is to get people during the holiday season to think about laziness and its opposite, extreme work, and perhaps reach some balanced conclusion.The museum hopes to get people to think about what laziness is.

Bogota's newest museum titled the 'museum of laziness', sponsored by the city government, is much-visited and could be ideal for those overwhelmed by the traffic, the fumes, the fast pace of life or the pressures of work. Marcela Arrieta, the museum curator, told Associated Press news agency: "We always think about laziness as an enemy of work. So we wanted to explore that and make people think about the social issues implied in taking a nap, in being jobless or in feeling that maybe we are wasting time - so we want to ask ourselves about that."

That being said, the website TrulyBored.com presents “The Guide to Being Lazy”. It features Black Text. White Background. No Pictures. All Lazy. They even have a little guide to being lazy. How's that for education? Here are their top four tips on what it takes to be truly lazy. If you want to read more you've got to get off your lazy ass and click on the link above to read the whole thing!

Proper Attire - Sweat pants are a lazy man’s bread and butter. It has two very important factors, comfort and an athletic look. You need a brand name pair of swear pants to pull the look off. If you strut out there with red sweat pants with no elastic you might as well just paint “I’m lazy” on your forehead. A matching t-shirt is purely optional and should really only ever happen if you randomly pick the right one out of your laundry pile. After all you were too lazy to fold your clothes)

Hygiene - The short hair cut is simple and efficient. You can easily let it dry in the wind while getting that rugged messy hair look that seems to always be in style. You can use the same towel for months and as far as underwear goes some people recommend the flipping back and forth deal. That is probably too much work. Just don’t wear underwear.

Work - The toilet does need to be cleaned. The house needs to be vacuumed. The dishes need to be washed. But not by you. Get a maid. A lazy man isn’t a lazy man without one.

Social Life - There is no point of leaving the house in your spare time or any time if you can help it. And if you've got a wife or grilfriend, you're lucky. But how did you get this girl? The messy hair combined with the coincidence where your pants and shirts matched one day that you actual left the house. The mismatched socks just made you seem quirky and she didn’t even realize you were just plain old lazy.

If you're not feeling lazy right now, book a flight to Bogota and check out the museum. But you'll have to be quick. You will have to shed their laziness long enough to get to the museum soon - it closes in a week. But always remember, you don't have to leave the comfort of your own house to create this piece of art. It's Sunday and rainy here in Southern California...so create your own display and enjoy yourself!

Wii's Gots A Bit Of A Problem Here!

2008-01-05T13:29:00.001-08:00

Emergency rooms aren't fun, especially on Christmas Day. But that's many people found themselves this year...thanks to their new Wii. Nintendo has finally succeeded in getting kids off the couch and moving around. But the new approach is turning out to be more exercise than some players bargained for.Injuries and the Wii are not uncommon. You'll may recall Nintendo had to beef up the straps on the controllers because people were swinging them more forcefully than anticipated. The original straps would break, sending the controllers (or Wii-motes in gamer jargon) into TVs, furniture, ceiling fans, people, etc. But accidents still happen. Just surf the Net. Youtube.com is full of Wii-violence videos.

Some tennis players suffer from tennis elbow, now it looks like some Nintendo Wii players are suffering from a similar injury dubbed 'Wii elbow.' There even is a new website out there that records recent Wii injuries, broken electronics, and household items that have been broken by the use of the Wii. The site includes pictures of damaged items and humorous Wii comics and images. The blog is called “Wii Have A Problem.” Their welcome message reads: “Wii have a problem” is a blog focused on bringing you the latest trend in gaming violence. That of damaged electronic loved ones caused from Wii related activities. Why? Because we’re fanboys that’s why.

One of the Wii's distinguishing features is a motion-sensitive technology that requires players to act out their character's movements, wielding the game's controller like a sword or swinging it like a tennis racket. The new console has been wildly successful, selling out at stores and winning high marks from critics and game buffs. But as players spend more time with the Wii, some are noticing that hours waving the game's controller around can add up to fairly intense exertion -- resulting in aches and pains common in more familiar forms of exercise. All those flailing arms can sometimes inadvertently smack into lamps, furniture and even competing players.

Nintendo itself warns players about this risk just before some of the games begin. A message flashes up on the screen saying: "Make sure there are no people or objects around you that you might bump into while playing." Some Wii games also have pop-up reminders every 15 minutes advising gamers to take a break. The Wii, which retails for $250 or more, comes with a remote control-size device that communicates wirelessly with a sensor sitting on the TV. It also comes with a secondary device -- which attaches via a cable to the first device -- that can mimic a variety of objects, from fishing rods to samurai swords.

And to prevent breakage, one company has a new product is due soon that should protect your precious HDTV, even if you should manage to demolish every other object in your living room during a fitful round of Wii-ing. Looking at it, it seems nice enough, but given the erratic world of Wii controller airborne trajectories, it doesn't seem to be particularly ricochet-proof.

And as more people play with their Wii post-Christmas, we'll see more damage and hear more tales. The Consumer Product Safety Commission hasn't published any reports yet, but it's a little early yet. Just give it some time. Some folks have a problem taking responsibility for their actions. And lawyers love that. The Wii is successful and a frivolous lawsuit or two is probably coming. It used to be embarassing if your were caught playing with your Wii...now it's a status symbol. Oh, how times have changed!

StormWatch: A Massive Storm Hits Los Angeles!

2008-01-04T05:39:00.001-08:00

Here in LA we're getting ready for a big storm. One of the biggest we've had in years. And although the threat of torrential rain has got Southern Californian's glued to the tube, the real storm watch is on Britney Spears! Yes folks, a big storm is about to hit the LA press as police were called to the popnightmare's home in Beverly Hills last night after she reportedly refused to return custody of her two kids back over to their father's bodyguard. Oh the insanity of it all! Britney Spears' two children were turned over to Kevin Federline around 10:50 p.m. upon LAPD officers reviewing court documents, Officer Jason Lee of the LAPD media relations section says. While officers were on the scene they found Spears under the influence of an unknown substance, Lee says. There were no reportable injuries, Lee adds.

Officers were called at 8 p.m. and were still at the house two hours later, said Officer Jason Lee, a police spokesman.The call involved a "family custodial dispute that we are trying to resolve ... peacefully by court order," Lee said, declining to elaborate. Earlier Thursday, the 26-year-old singer appeared for a deposition in the custody dispute. She was deposed for just 14 minutes, attorney Mark Vincent Kaplan told reporters after she left.

An Associated Press photographer outside the gated community that includes Spears' house saw six police cars, an ambulance and a fire truck enter around 10:30 p.m. A dispatcher with the fire department referred calls to the police department. Lee said Spears was under the influence of an unknown substance, and no injuries were reported. Two ambulances left Britney's house bound for Cedars-Sinai Medical Center -- one transporting Britney, the other had her two-year-old Jayden James in it. No word on what Jayden was being treated for.

Britney arrived at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center and as she was brought out of the ambulance, she flipped off the waiting paparazzi. I think this chick has gone way off the deep end and there's no end to this storm in sight. Her 15 minutes of fame are long over and she needs to pull her life together. Maybe this will be the thing that does it, but I doubt it. Because here in Hollywood, that's what makes good press! That's Wrong. It's just too damn wrong!

French Food May Be Good But Their Video Games Are Tasteless!

2008-01-03T09:25:00.001-08:00

One of the most tragic days in the history was 9/11...when our country realized that terrorism wasn't just something that happened "over there". And as one of the worst days in American history, countless millions believe Sept. 11, 2001, should never be duplicated, not even in a video game. On the surface, it's just a game. For many Americans however, it's a game that is not only offensive, but also opens up old and painful wounds. Apparently, a group of French Internet video game makers never got the message, and now families of victims from that horrid day are enraged with the notion that children get to replay the tragedy over and over again.

Jim Riches is all too familiar with the events of that day as he lost his firefighter son inside the North Tower. "For somebody to exploit a tragedy, where so many people died that day … it's sick, it's a sick mind," says Jim Riches. For those personally effected by the terrorist attacks, the game not only makes them feel disgust, but also brings back painful memories of that day's events. It's hurtful to all the families. It just brings up that pain again of seven years ago."

"It's horrible what happened. People shouldn't see it again and kids should not be playing games like that. It's just not funny," said Lauren Zaifart, a Battery Park resident. The goal of the French made Internet game, "New York Defender," according to the designer, is for players to shoot down planes before they strike the towers and cause them to come crumbling down. The French game designer said there is no way to win the game. The sole purpose is to illustrate the ultimate impossibility of fighting terrorism – a fight the United States is still waging in Afghanistan, Iraq and elsewhere throughout the world.

There is a followup game called New York Defender 2, which shows a map of area airports and commercial airliners, which players are supposed to determine as hijacked or not and shoot them down accordingly. Uzinagaz.com also hosts a game called Baghdad Defender, where people have the ability to unsuccessfully defend the Iraq capital from cruise missiles.

The tagline for this game says "Go beyond your powerlessness and use your mouse to fight back." For those who think this is a tasteless exploit of an American tragedy, I can think of a tagline from the movie "War Games" that fits this piece of crap..."the only winning move ... is not to play".